Married With Princess
by Hawk
Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Poor Keitaro!
1. One

Love Hina - Married With Princess 

Married With Princess[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  
  


Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognised? Soil in which cluster marriages are allowed? Keitaro, welcome to married life.  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger as iamhawk@yahoo.com or through e-mail as iamhawk@yahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above if you're on ff.net.  
  
"speech"  
*emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers*  
/thoughts/  
*/telepathy/*  
~translation~  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter One:

  
  
"I'm not paying for mistakes. I've been doing that since I got married."  
- Al Bundy from 'Married with Children'  
  
  
+Knock+ +Knock+ +Knock+  
  
"Coming." Keitaro called, veering off from his chosen path towards his room and further studies, having just left the kitchen where he had grabbed some leftovers from lunch to appease a rumbling stomach. He opened the door and with a certain amount of embarrassment, hid the beef-bowl he was carrying behind his back.  
  
He was surprised to find a strangely dressed man standing behind the door. The man was vaguely familiar to Keitaro, but he couldn't quite place him. But the style of dress brought back memories for Keitaro, memories from when Su's brother had visited and Keitaro had been dragged off to Molmol because the lying bastard had posed as Keitaro and nobody had believed Keitaro's outraged protests that he was the real Keitaro. This manner of dress reminded him of that worn by people in Su's home country.  
  
The three eyes emblazoned on his chest was also a dead give-away.  
  
"Prince Su?" the strangely dressed man inquired.  
  
"Eh, no. We just look alike. I'm Urashima Keitaro. The Prince isn't here, at least not as far as I know." he replied, wondering if Kaolla's lying brother had returned and snuck into the hot spring. "Are you looking for Su Kaolla?" he inquired, trying to recall just where he'd met this person. He was certain that he'd seen him somewhere before. Probably during his brief visit in Molmol, but he wasn't entirely certain of that.  
  
"You *have* been living here for a year now, haven't you?" the man inquired.  
  
"Uh... Yes?" Keitaro replied hesitantly after hastily recollecting just when he'd first started living at the Hinata Sou.  
  
"Under the same roof as Princess Su Kaolla?" the stranger continued.  
  
"Uh... Yes?" Keitaro repeated, even more bewildered now.  
  
"Then, congratulations. You're now Prince Su. By the laws of our country, a man and a woman are wed if they live more then a year together under the same roof." the stranger explained.  
  
"What?!" Keitaro exclaimed. "Wait! This isn't your country, this is Japan!" he said, realising that there was a loophole he could use. He suddenly grinned, proud at himself for coming up with it. Surely someone with his brains would make it into Todai!  
  
"No, not really. Since the Princess is living here, this is technically speaking an embassy. We had to make it so, in order to allow the princess to legally implement some of the defences she's installed to ensure her safety. And since this is an embassy, you're technically speaking standing on Molmol soil. You're in Molmol right now. Our laws apply. So, once again. Congratulations, Prince Su." was the calm response. "I am Lu Rawan, Royal Chancellor of Molmol. I am here to present you with your crown, Molmol citizenship and passport, as well as all the necessary documentation on your recent marriage." Rawan continued, then handed a black attaché case sealed with red tape to Keitaro, keys in the locks.  
  
"What?!" Keitaro repeated. "I'm married, to Su?! And I'm a Prince?! Of a country I've only visited once and that was under protest?!" he demanded and received a nod in response. "I want a divorce!" he instantly decided.  
  
"I'm sorry. Molmol doesn't recognise divorces. We marry for life." Rawan solemnly informed Keitaro, who promptly fainted, dropping the beefbowl on the floor.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Who are you? What are you doing here?" Motoko demanded, being the first one the scene, drawn in by Keitaro's shrill protests and the noise of shattering porcelain. "What have you done to Urashima?!" she demanded, pointing her sword at Rawan who was carrying an unconscious Keitaro towards the couch.  
  
"I am Lu Rawan, Royal Chancellor of Molmol. Prince Keitaro fainted once I informed him of his new social and marital status." Rawan explained and stretched Keitaro out on the couch.  
  
"'Prince' Keitaro?" Motoko repeated, then chuckled. "Like that would ever happen." she laughed, then suddenly the point of her sword was aimed at Rawans throat. "Now, tell me the truth lest I sever your head from your neck, foul intruder." she snarled.  
  
"Hiya, Motoko. Whatcha do... Hiya, Rawan. Whatcha doin' here?" Su said, leaping into the room like a demented frog on speed. She perched on top of the couch like a bird of prey, looking down at the unconscious Keitaro. "Whatcha done with the pervert?" she inquired.  
  
"Prince Keitaro fainted once I informed him of his new social and marital status." Rawan repeated, bowing for Su as much as the sword at his throat would allow him to do. Which wasn't much.  
  
"You know this... Person?" Motoko inquired, glancing over at Su.  
  
"Sure! That's Lu Rawan. He's the Royal Chancellor back home." Su replied happily, then looked down at Keitaro again. "So, it's finally been a year, huh?" she inquired.  
  
"Indeed it has, Princess." Rawan replied, as Motoko slowly removed the sword from his throat.  
  
"I'm married to him?" Su inquired.  
  
"Indeed you are, Princess." Rawan assured her.  
  
"Cool." she replied. "Did'ya give him all his stuff?"  
  
"Indeed I have, Princess." Rawan responded solemnly.  
  
"Then he's mine? No way out?" Su demanded.  
  
"Indeed he is, Princess. The marriage is finalised, his citizenship approved and everything processed. He is Su Keitaro, Price of Molmol." Rawan announced.  
  
"Yay!" Su cheered, then turned to regard the now completely flabbergasted Motoko. "Sorry Motoko, you'll be sleeping alone for a while. I'll be sleeping with Keitaro from now on."  
  
"What?!" Motoko exclaimed. "You cannot! He's a pervert! He's a male! It is not proper!"  
  
"So what? He's my pervert! I'm married to him. It's very proper for husband and wife to sleep together." Su countered. "So there! Biii-da!" she added, pulled one eyelid down and stuck her tongue out.  
  
"But Narusegawa..." Motoko stuttered.  
  
"Narusegawa-narusmegawa. I've got him now. She can have him later." Su flippantly responded. "You can have a go at him as well, if you want to recreate any of those naughty stories you've been writing. But I'm first!" she insisted, causing Motoko to blush furiously, backtrack and wave her hands in front of her, making warding gestures.  
  
"Me?! Do? With... Uh... Male! He's a male! No. No!" Motoko protested, backing up against the wall with a panicked look on her face. How had Su found those stories? Motoko kept them in a locked box at the bottom of her closet!  
  
"You're going to do what with a male?" Kitsune inquired, strolling into the room followed by Shinobu and Sarah. "I didn't think you were into guys, Motok... Who's this?" she continued, indicating Rawan.  
  
"That's Chancellor Rawan. He came to tell Keitaro that he's a Prince and married to me now." Su cheerfully exclaimed. "'Aint it cool? I'm married to the pervert Ronin!" she said, bent forward over herself and moved up into a handstand. She then completely flipped over and flopped down on top of Keitaro, causing him to emit a pained 'Ouff' as she landed. She crossed her legs, grabbed his head with both hands and yanked his head up off the couch.  
  
"Huhglr?" Keitaro slurred and opened his eyes.  
  
"Hiya, husband!" Su greeted him, then promptly went ahead and sealed her lips to his.  
  
"Aouuuuu!" Shinobu whimpered, tears in her eyes as she stared at her sempais lips being ravaged by Su.  
  
"MMmmgrrr!" Keitaro protested, though it only came out as a muted, muffled sound as vacuum Su sucked his tongue into her mouth. Keitaro waved his arms in the air, cast pleading expressions around the room and then froze completely.  
  
Narusegawa Naru had arrived.  
  
And she did not like what she was seeing.  
  
"*KEITARO*!" she bellowed, then shot across the room with the speed of greased lightening. "There's no explaining away *this*, you molester!" she cried out and drew her fist back, only to suddenly find herself frozen stiff. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to move a muscle. She was completely paralysed!  
  
"You will not be allowed to harm Prince Keitaro." Rawan calmly informed her and removed his hand from around her back, where he had pressed a series of pressure points.  
  
"Chancellor Rawan is also head of the Royal Bodyguards!" Su said, pulling away from Keitaro in order to look over at the paralysed tenant. "And Naru, could you at least stop trying to pummel my husband while I'm still kissing him?" she requested. "You can play with him once I'm through." she generously added, then recaptured Keitaro's lips.  
  
"Aouuuuuu!" Shinobu wailed again, reassuming her whimpering, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"Aw, Shinobu. Don't cry." Su pleaded, pulling away from Keitaro. "Here, you can have a go at him too!" she exclaimed, yanking his head around and forcing his lips to pucker up in Shinobu's direction, which caused the young girl to promptly shut up, in favour of blushing furiously before fainting, collapsing into Kitsune's arms, who was quick to save the young girl from a nasty fall. "Oh well, more for me." Su said, shrugging it off, before turning Keitaro's head towards her again.  
  
"Help..." Keitaro whimpered, before he was silenced and kept busy for nearly a full minute. Another five minutes passed before Rawan could be persuaded to revive Naru from her paralyzation.  
  
"It wasn't my idea!" Keitaro exclaimed as soon as Rawan restored Naru to full mobility. "I had nothing to do with it!" he added for good measure.  
  
Naru clenched her fists and made as if to step towards him, but one disapproving look from Rawan caused her to hold back.  
  
"You have exactly ten seconds to explain why you're married to Su." Naru growled.  
  
"Because Su lives here, it's an embassy, making it Molmol soil. There's a Molmoleese law that states that if a man and a woman live under the same roof for a year, they're married." Keitaro blurted out in less then five seconds. "I had nothing to do with it!" he insisted.  
  
"Sure didn't." Su agreed. "I called Rawan and told him about Keitaro a few weeks after he moved in. I wanted to make sure first that the Ronin would make a good husband, but once I was, I called Rawan. And now, it's been over a year." Su continued, then smirked. "I told ya last month to get a move on or prepare to step aside for me, Naru. You've only got yourself to blame for not listening to me and going for it." she added.  
  
"This can't be happening!" Naru protested.  
  
"Don't be so upset. You can have him later." Su stated dismissively.  
  
"This can't be happening!" Naru repeated.  
  


* * *

  
  
"So... It's legit?" Keitaro asked morosely, a defeated look on his face. In order to get away from the chaos back at Hinata Sou, he'd snuck out and went to see Aunt Haruka. He'd called her earlier and she'd promised to have a lawyer she knew look into the situation for him. Unfortunately, the answers she had received hadn't been very reassuring.  
  
"Near as my contact can say, yeah." Haruka responded, exhaling a cloud of smoke.  
  
"Great, just great..." Keitaro groused.  
  
"It's not a bad deal, nephew." Haruka ventured. "You get a cute young wife, you get made into a Prince and you'll never have to worry about money again." she added.  
  
"Wuzzat about money?" Keitaro muttered.  
  
"Apanage. As Prince of Molmol, you get a monthly allowance. With the current exchange rates, I'm guestimating it's somewhere around 1 500 000 Yen a month." Haruka answered.  
  
"Crap. Never, ever, tell Kitsune that." Keitaro said, staring woodenly at the floor. "So, there's no way out of this?"  
  
"None." Haruka agreed. "The marriage is legit. You're now a citizen of Molmol. Molmol doesn't recognise the concept of divorce, marriages last until both are dead. There are no widows or widowers, once married, always married." she explained, then took a hit from her fag. "What's your feelings regarding Kaolla?" she inquired.  
  
"She scares me." Keitaro admitted. "She's completely unpredictable, smart beyond reason and can build nearly everything she desires to." he continued, then sighed. "But there isn't a cruel bone in her body, she's kind and generous, in her own oddball way. She's got a smile that lights up a room and she's cute as hell." he countered. "But she's almost ten years younger then I am, underage and cannot possibly be ready for something like this." he argued, sighed and rubbed both his temples. The day had been nothing but one big head-ache.  
  
"Given time and if she were a few years older, I might be able to learn how to love her." Keitaro finally admitted with a faint shrug. "But now? Like this?" he continued, then shook his head. "I've got to find a way out of this."  
  
"You won't. You can't. Deal." Haruka stated, then exhaled another cloud of smoke.  
  
"She's too young for me!" Keitaro protested. "Do you really think that I could... Could..." Keitaro demanded, but trailed off. "With someone as young as her?! I'm no paedophile!"  
  
"You don't necessarily have to do 'that', just yet." Haruka ventured. "Some hugging, a few kisses perhaps. You've already done that, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. Then when she's older, you can consummate the marriage and the age difference won't seem so large then."  
  
Keitaro mentally trailed off at that, blinking as he considered it. Him in his late twenties, married to a young and exotic foreign beautiful Princess. It was an appealing image, one he could grow to like. He was just picturing eating peeled grapes off his sexy young wives bare chest, when he suddenly had a vision of a angry-looking Naru with clenched fists replace his erotic fantasies.  
  
He shook his head and dispelled the vision his vivid imagination had cooked up for him.  
  
Narusegawa would kill him if she ever found out just what he had been picturing just now.  
  
Come to think of it, she'd probably kill him anyway, just as soon as Rawan had left.  
  
"I've gotta find a way out of this." Keitaro muttered.  
  
"You're not going to." Haruka promptly informed him. "Deal."  
  
"I'm trying to deal with it!" Keitaro exclaimed.  
  
"Not that kind." she replied, nodding at the table. "Deal." she added.  
  
"Oh..." Keitaro mumbled in embarrassment, then picked up the deck of cards, shuffled it and started flicking cards across the table for their poker game. Playing relaxed Haruka and he *really* wanted a relaxed Haruka to talk with at the moment, so, they played poker. "Really no way out of this?" Keitaro pleaded.  
  
"None." Haruka agreed, picking up her cards. "You're screwed." she added, not mentioning if she was talking about his marital status, the game or perhaps both.  
  
Both, Keitaro decided as he picked up his own cards, having received nothing worth keeping.  
  
"So, are you looking forward to telling your parents about this?" Haruka inquired with a slight amount of malicious glee in her voice.  
  
"Oh." Keitaro exclaimed in a subdued voice as he realised that he would have to tell them. "No." he responded.  
  
"Can I come watch?" she inquired. "I want to see be there and see the looks on their faces when you tell them that you got married a Princess and didn't even know it! Not to mention, not having your mother there for the ceremony!"  
  
Keitaro groaned in dismay.  
  
If Narusegawa didn't get him first, his own mother would!  
  


* * *

  
  
"Hi. It's me. Uh... Mom... You know how you always said that I'd never amount to anything, never would get accepted into Todai and never get married?" Keitaro hesitantly begun his telephone conversation. "Well, I still haven't gotten into Todai, but I'm Prince of Molmol and married to one of the Molmolian Princesses now." he added.  
  
He moved the receiver away from his ear and kept it at arms length for nearly five minutes, then slowly moved it back to his head, ready to yank it away at the first hint of a raised voice.  
  
"No. Eh. I'm in Kyoto now." he lied in response to his mother's final screamed demand to tell her where he was at the end of her tirade. He moved the receiver away from his head again, looking up at the sky with a resigned expression for a couple of minutes, before he could move it back again. "I'm on my honeymoon." he explained, then put the receiver back at a safe distance for a minute. "No, she's back at the Hinata Sou." he replied and put the receiver down, while he strolled over to a vending machine for a can of orange juice. "Yeah, separate honeymoons." he agreed, before dropping the receiver again as he strolled off a ways to open his drink.  
  
He didn't like lying to his mother. But if she found out that he was still at Hinata Sou, she'd arrive just as soon as she could persuade Keitaro's father to drive her over. And there was enough chaos at Hinata Sou at the moment without his parents coming there to add to the messy situation.  
  
"No, we're not planning on getting children anytime soon. You'll have to wait a while for grandchildren." Keitaro commented between sips, not bothering walking over to the phone. He winced and took another couple of steps away from the phone, as the receiver started dancing at the end of the cable, screamed harangues and sulphurous oaths audible to everyone within fifty meters from the phone.  
  
Once things calmed down, he returned and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Love you too, mom. Tell dad and Kanako that I said hi. Bye." he hastily spoke into the receiver, then hung up. "Phew." he exhaled, then hastily reached for his cell and turned it off before she had a chance to realise that she'd been hung up on and called him.  
  
He sighed, his communications back home would have to be restricted to letters until his mother calmed down. Seeing as how his mother was a big fan of royalty, weddings and grandchildren, being told in one and the same call that he'd gotten married to a princess without inviting his mother and didn't even plan on getting his wife pregnant right this instant, he didn't expect her to calm down anytime soon.  
  
Perhaps somewhere around the same time he got some grandchildren on his own...  
  
Perhaps...  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  
  



	2. Two

Love Hina - Married With Princess 

Married With Princess[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognised? Keitaro, welcome to married life.  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger as iamhawkyahoo.com or through e-mail as iamhawkyahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at http:hawksgalaxy.com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're on ff.net.  
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Previously, on 'Married With Princess' 

  
  
Once things calmed down, he returned and picked up the receiver.  
  
"Love you too, mom. Tell dad and Kanako that I said hi. Bye." he hastily spoke into the receiver, then hung up. "Phew." he exhaled, then hastily reached for his cell and turned it off before she had a chance to realise that she'd been hung up on and called him.  
  
He sighed, his communications back home would have to be restricted to letters until his mother calmed down. Seeing as how his mother was a big fan of royalty, weddings and grandchildren, being told in one and the same call that he'd gotten married to a princess without inviting his mother and didn't even plan on getting his wife pregnant right this instant, he didn't expect her to calm down anytime soon.  
  
Perhaps somewhere around the same time he got some grandchildren on his own...  
  
Perhaps...  
  


Roll credits 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter Two:

  
  
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."  
- Socrates  
  
Keitaro was one unhappy camper.  
  
Su had insisted on sleeping in his room for hours, until she finally seemed to give up and stalked off to sleep in her own room. However, she apparently snuck into his room using the secret tunnels, so that when he got underneath the covers of his futon, she shot out from a hole in the wall like a bullet from a gun and joined him. He tried to get out, only to be held down by the surprisingly strong Kaolla.  
  
Wrestling proved futile, as she quickly proved to be his superior in that particular field.  
  
Finally, he gave up and much to his great relief, Kaolla only wanted to sleep with him, not 'sleep with' him.  
  
She was adamant about receiving a goodnight kiss, however.  
  
At which point Naru and Motoko burst into the room, revealing that they had been listening in on the going ons for quite a while.  
  
Kitsune, Sarah and Shinobu probably were as well, but didn't burst into the room.  
  
Chaos had ensued as a furious debate broke out, until a decision had been reached which would allow everyone involved to get at least a few hours of sleep before they had to get up. Kaolla had been permitted one kiss, carefully monitored by Naru and Motoko. None of the other three had cared about Keitaro's protests.  
  
And Kaolla hadn't cared that there were watchers, giving the blushing Motoko and Naru the show of their lives.  
  
If these cheapskates only permitted her one kiss with her new husband, she was going to make damned sure that it was a pretty good one.  
  
And it was.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Mghlf. Mnooo. Please, Narusegawa. Not the pitchfork. It's not my fault." Keitaro whimpered in his sleep, as Kaolla entered the room, sliding the door shut behind her. She smiled as she walked over to the futon, kneeling down beside it and putting the tray she carried down next to it. She removed the robe she was wearing, revealing bright green silk PJ's with the three ever-watching eyes of Molmol on them, then crawled underneath the covers and snuggled up against Keitaro, wrapping her arms around him.  
  
"Shhhh, Keitaro. It's okay... It's just a dream, a bad dream." she whispered into his ear, pulling his head down to rest against her chest, resting her chin on top of his head. "It's okay, it's okay..." she murmured, stroking his back and rubbing the back of his head.  
  
If there had been any witnesses, none would have believed it. Su's face was unusually serious, her voice gentle and subdued and her motions were slow and graceful, not frantic and random as they usually were. It almost seemed as if she was a completely different person.  
  
"It wasn't my idea, Narusegawa. It's a law! No, I haven't slept with her! Well, I have slept with her, but I didn't sleep with her! Please don't hit me." Keitaro whined with a pleading note.  
  
"Naru isn't here. She can't hurt you. I won't let her hurt you." Kaolla murmured, tightening her hold on Keitaro. "You're safe. Safe here with me. I promise that I won't let anyone hurt you." she said and some of what she said appeared to sink into Keitaro's unconscious, as he calmed down somewhat and curled up closed to Kaolla, wrapping his own arms around her. "You'll always be safe with me. Always, my beloved." Kaolla promised and tightened her hold again, very careful not to go too far and hurt him in the process.  
  
"Mhglf. Mgmm... Hm?" Keitaro groaned in his sleep and Kaolla eased up somewhat. Apparently, while it hadn't been hard enough to hurt, it had been hard enough to wake him up. "Wha..." Keitaro mumbled, rubbing his head against the two soft mounds his head was resting against. It wasn't Naru, they were neither large enough nor smelled like hers. It wasn't Mutsumi, these were by far too small and once again, the distinctive scent of Mutsumi just wasn't there. He'd recognise Motoko's tightly bound chest anywhere and this wasn't it. It wasn't Kitsune's squeazable babies either, he knew those all too well. Shinobu? No, these were different. /Kaolla? Yes, Kaolla./ Keitaro reflected in that sleepy daze that comes before complete wakefulness.  
  
Kaolla? Kaolla?!  
  
"Gah!" Keitaro exclaimed as he came to in the blink of an eye, disengaging and leaping out of the futon, presenting warding gestures in Kaolla's direction. "Wha-wha-wha-wh-wha-w-wh-wha-wha..." Keitaro stuttered, wondering what she had been doing in his bed. She appeared to be awake, but then why hadn't she stopped him from rubbing his face against her chest?!  
  
"Good morning, beloved." Su greeted him and moved into a kneeling position, bowing before him in a very elaborate way. "I know that this one might be inexperienced, but please accept her as your wife." she requested in a fairly ritualised manner that spoke of age-long traditions passed down for generations.  
  
"Gah!" escaped from Keitaro's lips before he clapped his hands over his own mouth, which he suspected was not, in fact, the correct and traditional response to Su's request. Su hadn't moved, not one jot and she was still kneeling and bowing in front of him, immobile and with her head turned down so he couldn't make out whatever expression was on her face. He felt cold, bewildered and panicked. Among the things Rawan had turned over, had been a book on Molmolian etiquette, but Keitaro hadn't read it yet, so he didn't know what the correct response to this situation might be.  
  
He thought desperately for nearly two minutes, while Kaolla remained immobile in front of him, never moving an inch or saying anything. Finally, he just did the first thing that came to mind.  
  
"Good morning, Kaolla." he greeted her, feeling like a complete arse.  
  
"Good morning, beloved." Kaolla repeated. "I know that this one might be inexperienced, but please accept her as your wife." she added, still immobile.  
  
"Kaolla, I would be honoured..." Keitaro started to say, but the 'But' that was about to emerge from his lips, never did, as Kaolla suddenly became a blur. The 'But' turned into a grunt, as she slammed into him and wrapped her arms around him, her lips coming up to meet his. "MMMMMmmmllf!"  
  
"Oh, I was so nervous." Kaolla whimpered as she finally pulled away, tears streaming down her cheeks. "No need for this." she muttered and yanked an ornate knife out of the left sleeve of her jammies, throwing it across the room. "I was so afraid you'd turn me down and I'd have to kill myself." she added, rubbing her cheek against Keitaro's face, tears still streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"Kill... Yourself..." Keitaro gasped out, his eyes bulging out of their sockets.  
  
"Yes. If you'd turned me down, I would have had to kill myself." Kaolla explained. "Oh, I'm so happy you finally saw reason. All those protests yesterday made me very nervous about this morning." she revealed, then kissed him again.  
  


* * *

  
  
It was a very troubled young man that finally ventured out into the Hinata Sou later in the morning. Kaolla had brought breakfast, so they had shared their first meal as husband and wife together, talking quietly about this and that. Trivial matters, nothing really serious. Not only would his mother hurt him severely the next time she saw him, but he'd also married a girl he knew next to nothing about. Oh, sure. He knew of some of her likes and dislikes, knew that she did very well in school and he'd met her brother and sister. But despite living with her for a year, he only now realised just how much he didn't know about her.  
  
He didn't even know her favourite colour, for crying out loud! And yet, he was married to her.  
  
She didn't seem to mind, that was for certain. After she'd calmed down during breakfast, she had returned to her usual bright and happy self. Well, almost at any rate. She had seemed a bit more serious then usual, not quite as frantic. She was also more affectionate then usual. She had always been a very physical person, climbing all over him, riding his shoulders, hanging on to his legs, lying draped out across him when watching TV, rubbing her cheeks against his, doling out hugs at random, kicking and punching him whenever she got the chance.  
  
She had still hit him once, when he asked if she could leave the room as he changed. 'I will not. It is a wifely right to watch her husband in all his glory.' she'd claimed and socked him in the stomach. But that had been it, otherwise, it had been touches, rubbing, caressing and a few kisses. At one point, she'd climbed up and perched on his shoulders, leaning forward over his head and requesting that he'd feed her by tossing pieces of food up into the air for her to catch.  
  
He couldn't claim that it was all bad, but the entire situation was still far to disturbing for him to accept it. She was so much younger then he was, so much more innocent. It was wrong, the entire situation was wrong. He'd have Haruka talk with that lawyer again, see if it was anything that could be done to correct this mess.  
  
"Morning, Kitsune." Keitaro greeted as he strolled into the kitchen, finding Kitsune at the counter.  
  
"Shinobu won't leave her room." Kitsune added by the way of preemptive explanation for why it was she that was standing there, instead of Shinobu who usually provided breakfast. "Nor stop crying." she revealed.  
  
"She took it hard, huh?" Keitaro asked despondently.  
  
"She loves you. Of course she'd take it hard." Kitsune said with unusual seriousness, before she chuckled and assumed a more normal mode of behaviour for her. "So, how was your wedding night?" she inquired.  
  
"Gah!" Keitaro exclaimed at the dual shock of Kitsune's question and at being told that Shinobu loved him. "Get real, Kitsune. Nothing happened." he snorted, once he'd recovered somewhat.  
  
"I thought as much. Any other guy..." Kitsune responded, trailing off with a shudder. "But you... Only you, Keitaro. Only you." she finished, not explaining what she really meant by that.  
  
"Ah..." Keitaro responded, as well-spoken as ever when confronted with unexpected praise.  
  
"And with the most important stuff out of the way, perhaps you might know just what Kaolla did do us while we were sleeping?" Kitsune inquired.  
  
"What Kaolla did?" Keitaro repeated with a confused expression.  
  
"I'm talking about these!" Kitsune exclaimed and turned around, removing a pretty silk scarf from around her neck, revealing that she wore a leather collar around her neck with the three ever-watching eyes of Molmol emblazoned on a metal badge along with Kitsune's nickname. "When I woke up this morning, this was on my neck and I can't get it off. Naru and Motoko had them as well." she groused.  
  
"Uh, no. I've never seen them before." Keitaro admitted and reached for the book on Molmoleese customs that Rawan had presented him with, pawing through the index for any references to collars. "Collars... Collars... Hmmm... Ah, page 57..." he mumbled and turned to the page in question, reading intently from it as his cheeks slowly coloured. All in all, a very bad omen, Kitsune thought.  
  
"Well?!" she demanded and yanked the book out of Keitaro's hands, glaring down at the contents of it. "Collars. 1, Engagement Collar. To be used in lieu of a ring, when a ranking member of the Molmol hierarchy takes a life-mate from the ranks of prisoners of war. 2, Slave Collar. Use discontinued after the Slave Emancipation Act of 1734, except by certain BSDM sub-cultures. 3, Submission Collar. Used by prospective life-mates who has been turned down, indicating their complete submission to their chosen life-mate. If the prospective life-mate endures a year of servitude under their chosen mate without removing the collar or choosing to give up the proposal, the two shall be considered joined in holy matrimony." she read out loud, then studied the three pictures that accompanied the entry, showing off three rather different collars.  
  
None of them really matched the one she was wearing, though it bore some resemblance to a Submission Collar. Well, Kaolla certainly wasn't going to get any kind of submissive behaviour out of her, that was for sure!  
  
"Keitaro, I expect you to have a little chat with your 'wife' about these. I want it off." Kitsune told Keitaro in a stern tone of voice.  
  
"Right you are, Kitsune." Keitaro agreed, wondering what could possibly have possessed Kaolla to make her hand out such perverted items to her dormmates.  
  
"Urashima!" Motoko announced as she strode into the room, followed by Naru. Neither of them looked very pleased and both of them were wearing collars similar to the one Kitsune was wearing, though with their first names embossed on their respective badges. "I don't know what sort of perverted notion you got into your head that caused you to persuade Su to manufacture these demeaning objects for you, but I order you to remove them right this instant!" she snapped.  
  
"But I didn't... I haven't..." Keitaro started to protest.  
  
"You lie, Urashima!" Motoko snapped and raised her bokken, only to suddenly scream and slump to the floor. "Urashima! What was... You die!" she cried and launched herself at him, only to scream again and drop her sword, slamming into his body. Keitaro awkwardly managed to catch her and prevent both of them from tumbling to the floor, but Motoko didn't appear to appreciate this, but instead tried to knee him in the groin, onto to scream in pain again. Though this time, she was joined in her scream by Keitaro who felt the electricity coarse through both of them due to their close proximity.  
  
Both of them crumbled to the floor and rolled away from each other, panting as they tried to recover from the unexpected electrical shock.  
  
Naru stalked over to Keitaro, kneeled down beside him and reached for his throat, only to suddenly scream herself and crumble to the floor right next to him, shivering and trembling.  
  
"What in the name of all higher and lower powers are these accursed things?!" Motoko hollered.  
  
"UBIRD's." Kaolla commented from the doorway, a faint smile on her face. "Undesired Behaviour Improving and Removal Devices." she added by the way of explanation. "Every time you try to harm my hubby, the UBIRD's gently reminds you that it's a very bad idea to do so."  
  
"GENTLY?!" Naru screamed in outrage.  
  
"Compared to some of the things you've done to Keitaro in the past, yes." Kaolla responded.  
  
"And what about you, Kaolla?" Motoko inquired from the floor. "You yourself have partaken in similar activities in the past." she reminded the young foreigner.  
  
"Yes, I have. That's why I am wearing one myself now." Kaolla replied and raised her chin, revealing that she too wore one of the collars now. "Devices on the inside of the leather collar senses intent to do harm to Keitaro and if that intent becomes an attempt to inflict harm, the collar gives the wearer an electrical shock to dissuade the wearer."  
  
"Kaolla... Kaolla... Kaolla..." Keitaro sighed, shaking his head. "You just can't do things like this. How do you get them off?" he inquired as he studied the back of Naru's collar, while Naru grumbled under her breath.  
  
"You can't remove them." Kaolla replied, as the three other girls who wore the collars gasped in horror. "But don't worry, they come off on their own after 750 hours as the batteries run out. Every discharge reduces the battery time by 5 hours." she explained.  
  
"Why are you doing this to us, Su?" Naru groaned.  
  
"To protect my beloved Keitaro, of course!" Kaolla chirped and bounced over to Keitaro, scrambling up his back until she was seated on his shoulders, crossing her arms as she looked down at Naru. "With my UBIRD's assuring that you're all on your best behaviour, perhaps all these unprovoked attacks with cease, even after the collars fall off."  
  
"Fat chance..." Keitaro muttered to himself. "The moment one of those collars come off, I'm a dead man." he groused, shaking his head in disbelief.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Heyas, hubby!" Kaolla exclaimed as she strolled into Keitaro's bath, clothed in nothing but a towel wrapped around her waist and the collar around her neck.  
  
"Pfffft!" Keitaro spluttered as he caught sight of the topless girl, dropping the bucket he'd just emptied over himself from suddenly trembling hands. "Hey! I'm about to take a bath here! Get out!" he managed to get out, closing his eyes to prevent himself from seeing anything he shouldn't.  
  
"I know! I'll wash your back for you, Keitaro." she replied unconcerned, closing the door behind her.  
  
"No. No. Nonononononononono. No!" Keitaro protested.  
  
"I'd keep it down, if I were you, hubby. You wouldn't want Naru or Motoko to come running to see what's going on, now would you?" Kaolla inquired in her serious voice. While none of them could actually do anything do him at the moment, knowing Keitaro, seeing any of them in pain would probably hurt Keitaro even more then if they'd actually succeeded in doing him physical harm.  
  
"Butbutbut... You can't! You have to get out of here." Keitaro hissed, dreading the attempted punishment Naru or Motoko would try to dole out if they showed up right now, wincing at the pain they would receive for attempting it.  
  
"We're married, Keitaro. Since you're so freaked about it, I agreed to postpone the honeymoon and everything that comes with it." Kaolla pointedly replied. "Work with me here. I gave up making love for your sake. You owe me. You will just have to deal with this." she announced and Keitaro could feel, even without seeing, how she suddenly smirked widely. "Unless, of course, you've decided to throw out all those stuffy prejudices and agree to make love with your darling wife. Then I might be willing to give up the joint baths in return." she flippantly suggested, causing Keitaro to break out in a cold sweat and tendrils of blood to slowly make their ways out of his nostrils.  
  
"Uh... Joint baths may not be all that bad, actually." Keitaro eventually responded. "But could you please wear a swimming suit or something at the very least? And give me a chance to put one on? Please, Su-chan?"  
  
"Too late." Kaolla replied and Keitaro heard water splashing, probably from Kaolla dumping a bucket of water over herself. "It's a wifely privilege to gaze at her husband, just as it is a husbandly privilege to gaze at his wife. And we are married, remember? Just because you chose not to exercise your husbandly privilege doesn't mean that I'm about to give up mine." she continued and Keitaro suddenly felt hands against his back. "You've got a surprisingly nice body, beloved." she commented as her hands roamed across his back. "You sure you wouldn't consider trading joint baths for something more... Intimate?"  
  
"Very sure!" Keitaro piped up with a very shrill tone of voice.  
  
"Shame..." Kaolla mumbled, then removed one of her hands from his back. Keitaro tensed up for a few moments, wondering where the hand was about to go, but relaxed as he felt a sponge against his back. She deftly scrubbed his back, tsk:ing at a shrill exclamation and a strained plea for her to just wash his back, nothing else. Certainly nothing below belt-level! Kaolla shook her head, but reluctantly moved the sponge away from his butt and stuck to washing everything above it. "All right. You're up." Kaolla announced once she was finished and tossed the sponge into Keitaro's lap, seating herself on a wooden pail.  
  
"What?!" Keitaro exclaimed.  
  
"You're up, honey. It's your turn to wash my back." Kaolla replied. "And I don't mind at all if your hands should happen to... Stray... Away from my back."  
  
Thirty minutes later, it was a very subdued Su Keitaro whom left the bath, followed by a cheerful Su Kaolla with a wide grin on her face, the towel now wrapped around her entire torso. Keitaro wasn't sure that it was an improvement, however. Granted, her chest was now out of sight, but the towel wasn't very large, so now it just barely covered up her nether regions.  
  
Surprisingly enough, they both managed to get back to their room without bumping into someone. A fact which Keitaro was immensely grateful for, as he had no desire to be screamed at by furious girls for 'taking advantage of poor Su'.  
  
He still couldn't believe that they all saw her as the victim. She was immensely pleased with the situation, glowingly so at times. He was the one who suffered!  
  
Though he had to admit to himself that it hadn't been all that bad. Other then a few teasing comments and trying to wash his ass, Kaolla had behaved herself... Somewhat. They'd chatted some in the barrel, once Keitaro had calmed down a bit after he realised that the water obscured the view of his young 'wife' and her nubile body.  
  
He had been prepared to fend off any attempts of Kaolla to snuggle up against him, but there hadn't been a need for it. She had quite calmly joined him on the opposite side of the barrel and appeared content to merely talk with him, as they enjoyed the hot water together.  
  
Even if he didn't manage to get that divorce, things wouldn't be all that horrible if this was how married life were to become for him.  
  
Of course, being Keitaro and all, things were never all that simple, as he were about to find out.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	3. Three

Love Hina - Married With Princess 

Married With Princess[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognised? Keitaro, welcome to married life.  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger as iamhawkyahoo.com or through e-mail as iamhawkyahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at http:hawksgalaxy.com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're on ff.net.  
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Previously, on 'Married With Princess' 

  
  
Though he had to admit to himself that it hadn't been all that bad. Other then a few teasing comments and trying to wash his ass, Kaolla had behaved herself... Somewhat. They'd chatted some in the barrel, once Keitaro had calmed down a bit after he realised that the water obscured the view of his young 'wife' and her nubile body.  
  
He had been prepared to fend off any attempts of Kaolla to snuggle up against him, but there hadn't been a need for it. She had quite calmly joined him on the opposite side of the barrel and appeared content to merely talk with him, as they enjoyed the hot water together.  
  
Even if he didn't manage to get that divorce, things wouldn't be all that horrible if this was how married life were to become for him.  
  
Of course, being Keitaro and all, things were never all that simple, as he were about to find out.  
  


Roll credits 

  
  


Author Starts Raving 

  
  
Woot, reviews galore! Well, let no man, woman or beast claim that this old perverted heart of mine can't be motivated into a working frenzy by kind words. :)  
  
Thus, I present chapter three of MwP. N-joy.  
  
And as for everybody praising the Kei/Su coupling and apparently believing that this is how things will remain until the end... Tough noogies, because here comes Rawan again! :)  
  
Ya'll Kei/Su-fanatics will just have to wait until I decide to upload the first chapter of another lil' story that's currently in the works, to enjoy an exclusive Kei/Su-pairing. But unless inspiration strikes, I believe that first you'll have to 'suffer' through updates on It's Not Enough, Tears of Blood, the first chapter of Love Angel Kurumi and the first chapter of a currently untitled Keitaro/Motoko fic, before the first chapter of my Kei/Su-fic goes online.  
  
- Your Friendly Neighbourhood Deviant Viking  
  


Author Becomes Distracted By Nudie Pictures And Shuts Up 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter Three:

  
  
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."  
- Oscar Wilde  
  
- Three Weeks Later...  
  
"Oh, no! Not you again?!" Keitaro exclaimed as he recognised Lu Rawan, the Royal Chancellor of Molmol, as the visitor outside the door. "What is it this time?!" he whimpered.  
  
"Oh no. I'm not here for you this time." Rawan assured him. "I'm here for the Princesses."  
  
"Phew, that's a relief." Keitaro sighed, exhaling the breath he had been holding. "I'll go get Kao-cha... Eh, Kaolla, for you." he continued, somewhat embarrassed at his unfortunate slip of the tongue. The last three weeks had been interesting to say the least. Somewhere during those weeks, his mode of address had changed from 'Su' or the occasional 'Kaolla' to Kao-chan. The first time the affection left his lips, Naru had burned out her collar and socked him a really good one to make up for all the time she hadn't been able to punish him for his transgressions.  
  
"Thanks, but she already has the necessary items." Rawan stated. "But I would be grateful if you could get Princess Naru, Princess Mitsune, Princess Motoko and Princess Shinobu for me."  
  
"Huh?!" Keitaro exclaimed. "What?!" he added, as he felt a horrible sensation of dread creep up upon him. He felt shivers running up his spine. His skin felt as if it wanted to wriggle off his body. His eyes were so widely open that there was a distinct danger of them popping out of their sockets. He was shivering and wondered if perhaps it would be better if he just bolted right now. With luck, he'd arrive at the airport and board a jet flying to wherever that wasn't here, before the girls managed to find out just where he had bolted.  
  
"Princess Kaolla isn't the only woman you've been living with, is she?" Rawan continued. "The paperwork took a while longer for them, seeing as how cluster marriages haven't been practised in our country for the last sixty years, even if the laws allowing it were never reappealed. Princess Kaolla being who she is, allowed the process to be hurried along for her. But with the others, we first had to arrange for their new citizenships and have our best lawyers dig through ancient records in order to complete the cluster marriage. Our royal family has always been granted a certain leniency, allowing for the quick processing of your marriage to Princess Kaolla. But I am now pleased to report that the cluster marriage have been processed, finalised and approved." Rawan explained. "Oh, I was going to ask Princess Kaolla about this later, but I guess I can ask you instead. MacDougal Sarah, how long has she been residing here? We would like to prepare your marriage to her ahead of time, so it can be processed as soon as possible once her day is up."  
  
"Ah! No! No! No!" Keitaro chanted. "I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Motoko is going to skewer me. Naru is going to smash my head in. Kitsune will strangle me. Sarah will shove that mask up my nostril and poor Shinobu will cry her gentle little heart out." he wailed and suddenly wished that the shock collars were still around. Motoko had lost hers after a week, due to frequent discharges lessening the battery time. Naru had lasted only two days longer, before the 'Kao-chan'-incident caused her to use up her battery as well.  
  
Kitsune had worn hers for two weeks, though hers had been configured a bit differently. Instead of reacting to intent to do Keitaro harm, hers reacted on intent to swindle Keitaro of his money. The moment Motoko's came off, Motoko had taken her sword to it and turned hers into so much torn leather and scrap circuitry, then celebrated the occasion by chasing him around the house. Then Kaolla had informed her that she had others which could be put to use, after which the chase had abruptly ended accompanied by much gnashing of teeth and dark looks directed both at Kaolla and Keitaro.  
  
The process had been repeated after Naru's came off. She flushed hers downs the toilet after first stomping it into the ground, then took off through the recently made hole in the wall after Keitaro with a fierce war-cry to deliver additional punishment for all the recent incidents during which she had been unable to administer appropriate punishment for the perverts crimes. Kaolla had thusly proceeded to inform Naru that not only did she have other collars, but that Kissing-Kun V2 required further testing and Mutsumi had already agreed to participate, might perhaps Naru want to be the second party in the first testing run? That had quickly taken the fight out of Naru, who blushed furiously and denied any such desire witch such passion and focus, that she completely forgot about chasing after Keitaro and turning him into a bloody pulp.  
  
When Kitsune's came off, she'd promptly stalked over to Keitaro's room, pushed his face into her cleavage and stolen the contents of his wallet while he was unconscious. She hadn't been back for two days, during which she had partied up all the money Keitaro had saved away during the two weeks when Kitsune hadn't been able to mooch any cash off him and thus returned with the mother of all hangovers, spending the following day wallowing and moaning in her bed, cursing herself for breathing too loud and for having such a noisy heart-beat.  
  
Kaolla still wore hers, however. Despite getting kicked and punched by her, she never received a shock from hers. She'd even explained the hows and whys of it to Keitaro, once he asked after she'd just kicked him in the face without receiving a shock from her collar. Apparently, she didn't do it with the intent to do harm. As the collar never sensed that intent, it never charged up and thus, her collar still had some power left in it.  
  
She'd even seemed genuinely distressed that he believed that her playful kicks and punches were meant to do harm and had severely cut down on those sort of things lately. He actually sort of missed it, but what with Motoko and Naru making up for lost time now that the collars were gone, still appreciated it as he rarely went a day without getting smacked around by the two young women.  
  
"There is also the matter of Princess-to-be Mutsumi and Princess Haruka." Rawan continued. "We looked into the situation and discovered that you were living with Mutsumi for ten months when you were younger. There is a precedent in cases such as these and as such, our supreme court has ruled that the ten months can be counted. So there are only two months left before she too will be married to you once she moves in here. Of course, a traditional proposal will be perfectly acceptable should you desire to hurry up the process."  
  
"Wait! Don't I get a say in this? Who said I wanted to marry anyone at all to begin with?!" Keitaro exclaimed. Granted, he found Mutsumi attractive and was very fond of her, but being married to her all of a sudden? He scratched his head as he pondered just how Rawan knew that Mutsumi was about to leave her apartment and move into the Hinata Sou. Kaolla must have told him, Keitaro decided. After all, it was Kaolla who had suggested to Mutsumi that she should move into the Hinata Sou, since she spent so much of her time with them anyway. He deliberately refused to think about the fact that Rawan had mentioned Haruka and Princess without any other words separating those two particular words. What Rawan hinted at with that was just too damned scary to consider!  
  
"Well, when Miss Otohime appealed to our supreme court after I informed you on your marriage to Princess Kaolla. She explained the circumstances in her appeal, we merely assumed that..." Rawan started.  
  
"Mutsumi did... What? She... Appeal... She wants to be married to me?" Keitaro asked.  
  
"And Princess Kaolla apparently approves. She sponsored Miss Otohime's appeal." Rawan continued, then moved right along, ignoring Keitaro's stunned expression. "Regarding Princess Haruka..." Rawan tried, but Keitaro cut him right off.  
  
"Hold it right there! She's my aunt! And you'll never get me to believe that she filed an appeal. No way. No way!" Keitaro exclaimed. "Besides, she doesn't live here! She's got her own place." he added, frantically trying to come up with reasons, good reasons, for why it just wasn't possible for Haruka to get involved in this mess. If he got smacked around merely for calling her 'Aunt', he didn't want to ponder what she might do to him in case they were to get married!  
  
"Precisely. And as a close relative outside of the immediate family, the ordinary marriage laws doesn't apply to her." Rawan replied, causing Keitaro to relax somewhat. "When it comes to relatives outside of the immediate family, six months is sufficient." Rawan continued, causing Keitaro's eyes to bulge out of their sockets. "We looked into the situation when Miss Otohime made her appeal. Princess Haruka was living here at the same time you were staying at Hinata Sou with Miss Otohime and the supreme court having already granted Miss Otohime the ten months, decided to do the same for Princess Haruka. Had we already known about it beforehand, Princess Naru would have been your first wife, as she too lived here at that time and have thus have lived with you for more then a year. But I first stopped at Princess Haruka's teashop on the way and delivered the crown and paperwork to her. She was most surprised at my announcement." Rawan finished.  
  
"Oh, Kami-sama..." Keitaro whimpered and then faded into unconsciousness, already feeling the bumps and bruises he was about to receive once the girls got their hands on him.  
  


* * *

  
  
"So. We're all married to that... That... That... That... That?!" Naru demanded to know while pointing at the unconscious Keitaro, once Rawan had gathered everyone and told them the happy news.  
  
"Indeed you are, Princess Naru. Prince Keitaro is a most fortunate man." Rawan agreed, circling the couch in a defensive stance, to prevent Princesses Naru and Motoko from beating their recently made and currently unconscious husband to death.  
  
"I refuse!" Motoko protested. "I will not be married to that... That... That... Male!" she spat out, then shuddered. "I will not... I will... Marital relations with one such as him?! No!"  
  
"If you are like 'that', you'll also happily recall that you have five wives at the moment. You are not only married to him, but them as well." Rawan stated. "Your marital duties are not restricted to your collective husband."  
  
"What are you..." Motoko started to demand, then promptly shut up, blushed to a beet red and nearly flew towards Rawan, sword bared and heading for his neck. "I am NOT like that!" she bellowed.  
  
"That is your prerogative." Rawan calmly commented, the sword caught between the palms of his hands. He twisted his hands and yanked the sword out of Motoko's hands, then calmly put it down next to Keitaro on the couch. "But as I said, Princess Motoko, your nightly marital duties are not restricted to your husband. You also have the other wives to consider, should their desires run that way." he added, glancing around the room, causing a collective blush.  
  
Except for Su.  
  
"Wooho!" she cheered. "Landed myself a fine-lookin' husband and five hot wives to boot! Amara is going to be so jealous."  
  
"Su!" rose the collective protest.  
  
"Indeed. Congratulations, Princess Kaolla. You are a most fortunate woman." Rawan intoned seriously.  
  
"Aouuuuuuu!" Shinobu exclaimed, then blacked out, her eyes crossed out and a line of drool trailing out of her open mouth.  
  
"We get money?" Kitsune inquired, looking up from the papers she had been carefully reading, trying to catch up on what was happening. She looked over at Rawan and repeated her inquiry. "We get money?"  
  
"Indeed, Princess Mitsune. The country of Molmol provides for the royal family." Rawan replied.  
  
"How much?" Kitsune asked with an expression on her face eerily reminiscent of a child eagerly awaiting an exciting bedtime story.  
  
"Local currency? At the current exchange rate, 1 537 215 Yen a month, Princess Mitsune." Rawan answered.  
  
"Husband! Wives!" Kitsune exclaimed as she flew up from her seat, then reached out and hugged both Naru and Motoko, who were facing Rawan who was blocking their way to Keitaro. "Oh, I am so happy." she said with a big happy grin. "'Til death do us part!" she swore, then kissed Naru right on the lips. French style. Then moved over to Motoko, who responded to the unexpected move by fainting. Naru was reeling from the shock, but handled it better. She hadn't been around Mutsumi, also known as the Okinawan Kissing Machine, so much for nothing!  
  
"Kitsune!" she protested. "Stop that! We have to get this marriage annulled!" Naru insisted and wiped her lips with the back of her right hand, then moved over to put some distance between her and Kitsune, who was currently holding the unconscious Motoko upright, her left arm around Motoko's torso and her right placed on the Kendo-girls well-shaped rump.  
  
"There is no such thing in our country, Princess Naru. Marriages cannot be annulled. Nor do we recognise your custom of divorcing those you marry. Like Princess Mitsune said, it's a commitment for life." Rawan informed her.  
  
"Su! Where are you?!" came a furious bellow from the entrance, causing a complete silence to fall over the building and those within it for a few moments. The door flew open and a darkish blur appeared in the doorway, solidifying itself as Haruka who slammed the door shut behind her.  
  
"Which one of us do you mean? If it's me, then I'm over here!" Kaolla responded to Harukas screamed demand and moments later, Haruka was right there in front of the young foreigner, glaring down at Kaolla with a blazing gaze that could curdle milk, peel the wallpaper right off the walls and send grown men running from her with tears in their eyes. "Hiya, honey." Kaolla greeted her with a cheerful expression, completely unaffected by the dreadful glare. "How was your day?"  
  
"It's true then?" Haruka demanded, her eyes shooting daggers.  
  
"Yups!" Kaolla happily agreed. "Welcome to the family."  
  
"I'm a fu-hrm..." she began, clearly swallowing down a curse-word, "... Princess?"  
  
"Indeed you are, Princess Haruka." Rawan agreed.  
  
"I'm married to Keitaro and these floozies?" Haruka continued, gesturing at the girls scattered around the room.  
  
"Indeed you are, Princess Haruka." Rawan repeated.  
  
"Oh, joy." Haruka groused, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"Floozies?!" Naru protested.  
  
"Oh, shut up, honey." Haruka snapped.  
  
"Honey?!" Naru repeated. "Not you too! We don't have time for this. We've got to find a way to annul this marriage!"  
  
"No can do, sugar. When it first happened to Keitaro, I had a lawyer contact of mine look the situation over. The marriage laws of Molmol are ironclad and without loopholes. The only way out is death. The death of all involved parties. There are no widows or widowers in Molmol." Haruka spat out. "We're stuck with each other for life."  
  
"Yup!" Kaolla agreed. "Isn't this grand?! Now we can all live and love each other forever and ever! We'll never have to be apart again and nobody needs to fight over Keitaro anymore! We can all have him! And each other!"  
  
"Oh, joy." Haruka groused again as everybody still conscious, except for Haruka, Rawan and Kaolla blushed furiously.  
  
"You and the looser are perfect for each other. You're both perverts." Sarah announced, shaking her head in disbelief at Kaolla.  
  


* * *

  
  
"I bet you're happy now, pervert!" Naru snapped.  
  
"Hey! I got screwed over too, just like you!" Keitaro retorted, his hands shaking as he tried to prevent himself from spilling any of the sake in the glass he was holding. He had a feeling that he was going to need it in his system, not on the table.  
  
"Oh, come on. You can't tell me that you didn't want this!" Naru exclaimed. "You've been drooling all over everyone here for over a year now."  
  
"Naru, this isn't constructive. We are trying to figure a way out of this mess, not assign blame." Motoko sighed, rubbing her temples. After the shock had worn off and she had awakened again, she'd turned contemplative and morose. All her usual fire and passion seemed to have went straight out of her and been replaced with dull listlessness. The suggestion of an emergency meeting to discuss the situation had perked her up somewhat, but she was still a far cry from her usual self. She wasn't even bringing her sword along to the discussion.  
  
"Why do you want out of it?" Su inquired. "Don't ya love me no more, Motoko?" she asked, tears in her eyes.  
  
"Of course I love you, Su." Motoko protested.  
  
"Then why don't you want to be married to me?!" Kaolla instantly demanded to know.  
  
"I do not want to be married. Period." Motoko replied. "Not to anyone. Not ever. I am the heir to the Shinmei Ryu. If I am married, I will not be allowed to take over the Dojo."  
  
"Don't you love me, Naru?" Kaolla demanded, switching her attention to Naru and making a mental note to discuss things with Tsuroko. As demon-slayers weren't in such high demand these days and the Shinmei Ryu had such a harsh training regiment, they didn't get much jobs nor that many students. A sizeable donation to the Dojo as a wedding present, might just smooth over a thing or two and make them overlook the fact that the Heir to the Dojo was a married woman.  
  
"Well, yes... But not like that!" Naru responded.  
  
"How about the rest of you, why do you want to break up this marriage?" Kaolla inquired, glaring around the table.  
  
"I'm good, honey-buns. I'll stay married to you." Kitsune assured Su, leaning over and wrapping her left arm around Keitaro. "And if I get him with the package, then hey, I'm all for it."  
  
"Kitsune!" Naru protested.  
  
"I..." Shinobu piped up, then trailed off, mumbling something under her breath.  
  
"What, Shinobu?" Kaolla gently inquired.  
  
"If it means being married to sempai, I'll stay married to you, Kaolla." Shinobu managed to get out while blushing furiously, then hid her face in her hands.  
  
"Shinobu!" Naru protested. "Haruka, come on! There's got to be something we can do." she pleaded with the older woman.  
  
"Not a thing." Haruka sighed, her gaze slowly moving around the table, finally stopping on Keitaro. "Well, there's always condoms, I suppose. I could always adopt or get artificially inseminated when that time comes." she muttered, just barely loud enough for those around her to hear. "And the girls are attractive enough, I suppose." she added.  
  
"Haruka?!" came the collective cry.  
  
"What? I don't intend to fool around, but I certainly don't intend to stay celibate either. If I'm stuck in a cluster marriage for the rest of my life with my nephew and a bunch of you girls, I'll certainly make sure that I get my share of the mileage out of Keitaro." Haruka calmly informed the others. "In fact, if nobody else has called dibs on him tonight yet, I'll go first." she said, a statement which was met with complete silence.  
  
"Aunt Haruka?!" Keitaro finally exclaimed after nearly fifteen seconds of silence and non-movement from everyone except Kaolla, who kept making thumbs up and victory gestures at Haruka.  
  
"Wife Haruka." Haruka corrected. "But you can call me beloved, dear." she added, causing Keitaro to splutter incomprehensible gibberish which none-the-less managed to sound like a protest.  
  
"Haruka!" Naru protested.  
  
"Give it up, Naru. We're stuck with this. You might as well make up your mind now. Either stick with it, go celibate or have nothing to do with this marriage at all and find someone else. Those are your options." Haruka explained. "For me, two is out. Three is not my bag. I've always been faithful to the one I was with and I don't intend to do anything different now, just because I'm in a cluster marriage with a relative that I'm not in love with and several other girls to boot!" she finished and shrugged.  
  
"But... There's... We have... Something..." Naru spluttered.  
  
"I've checked. Trust me, I've checked." Haruka informed the others. "There is no way out of this."  
  
"Yeah, greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgramps was really going all out when he wrote the marriage laws. They haven't changed much since he wrote 'em back in 1433 after one of his wives divorced him. He really didn't want anything like that happening ever again, so he made sure that it couldn't." Kaolla explained. "Of course, his second, third and fifth husband banded together with his first and third wife and killed him and his brother-husband about five years later, so I'm guessing he sort of regretted rewriting the law as he died." she finished.  
  
"His... Husbands?" Naru repeated in a strained voice.  
  
"Greatgramps was really open to new experiences." Kaolla said, shrugging it off. "Same-sex relationships is no biggie in Molmol. Whatever floats your boat and is to the mutual enjoyment of everyone involved, goes."  
  
"His brother-husband?" Motoko stated, clearing her throat.  
  
"He was his brother first, became his husband later." Kaolla explained.  
  
"He married his own brother?!" came another collective outburst.  
  
"Yeah?" Kaolla inquired with a blank expression. "Oh, yeah. You don't do that sort of thing here that much, do you? Marriages within the immediate family was more or less restricted to the royal family back home as well, but it happened among the people as well until an amendment was made to the law in 1808 which made it more difficult to marry within the immediate family. Greatgramps was a friendly sort and like I said, open to new experiences. The marriage laws were originally written with that in mind." Su said, then chuckled. "Gender is no issue in the laws. In fact, species isn't an issue. My greatgrandmothers aunt married her pet tiger."  
  
"She what?!" Keitaro exclaimed.  
  
"Hey, she was old, senile and mad as a loon." Kaolla shrugged. "She only lasted about a year after that. Prince Sharptooth died three years later and was buried in the family crypt next to his wife."  
  
"And we're now married into this family?" Kitsune inquired, shaking her head. "Well, I guess it's not that much worse then my uncle Nanjiro." she added with a faint shudder, recalling the alcoholic old groping geezer in question.  
  
"Keitaro." Haruka suddenly called with a voice as icy as death.  
  
"Yeah?" he replied, inching away from her in his seat, looking nervously in her direction.  
  
"If you ever refer to me as your aunt-wife, I'll hit you. Hard. Where it'll hurt. A lot." she informed him.  
  
"Check. No aun... Right, none of that." Keitaro responded, halting himself before he actually repeated the term.  
  
"Alright, then come with me. I think we'd better get some experience under your belt before you're called upon to break in your other wives." Haruka informed him and Keitaro actually rose from his seat, before what she said actually sunk in.  
  
"What?! Hey! No way!" he protested, back-pedalling.  
  
"Honey, don't you love me anymore?" Haruka inquired, mimicking both Kaolla's voice and pleading expression.  
  
"Stop that!" Keitaro protested.  
  
"All right. Keitaro, do you know what the punishment is for disregarding your marital duties in Molmol?" Haruka asked.  
  
"Eh? No! What?!" he spluttered nervously.  
  
"You don't want to know." Haruka replied, then strode over and grabbed him by the arm. "Come along, honey. I'm guessing you don't have condoms lying around, but I've got some in my stash back at the tea-house."  
  
"But... But... But..." Keitaro stuttered as Haruka forcibly dragged him out of the room, ignoring his stuttered protests.  
  
"Kaolla. What is the punishment for disregarding ones marital duties?" Motoko inquired nervously a minute later, clearly not comfortable with the notion of having to sleep with Keitaro, or perhaps even one of the other wives, in order to avoid a harsh sentence.  
  
"There isn't any. Geesh, what do you think we are? Barbarians?" Kaolla snorted. "But I guess Keitaro didn't know that..."  
  
"So you mean that Haruka..." Motoko intoned seriously.  
  
"Was bluffing, yeah." Kaolla agreed. "Worked like a charm though. I have to remember that one for when I get old enough to have a go at him." she added with a feral grin.  
  
"You and me both, kiddo. Of course, I'm already old enough. I call dibs after Haruka." Kitsune informed the group, causing Naru and Motoko to face-vault, as Shinobu fainted again. Kaolla made victory-signs at Kitsune and Sarah shook her head in confusion.  
  
Kaolla, Haruka and Kitsune were crazy! There just wasn't any other possible way to explain their actions in this outrageous situation! Sarah leaned forward and put her head down on the table, shaking her head again as she tried to tell herself that this was all just some crazy dream.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	4. Four

Love Hina - Married With Princess 

Married With Princess[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognized? Keitaro, welcome to married life.  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger as or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above if you're on   
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Previously, on 'Married With Princess' 

  
  
"Kaolla. What is the punishment for disregarding ones marital duties?" Motoko inquired nervously a minute later, clearly not comfortable with the notion of having to sleep with Keitaro, or perhaps even one of the other wives, in order to avoid a harsh sentence.  
  
"There isn't any. Geesh, what do you think we are? Barbarians?" Kaolla snorted. "But I guess Keitaro didn't know that..."  
  
"So you mean that Haruka..." Motoko intoned seriously.  
  
"Was bluffing, yeah." Kaolla agreed. "Worked like a charm though. I have to remember that one for when I get old enough to have a go at him." she added with a feral grin.  
  
"You and me both, kiddo. Of course, I'm already old enough. I call dibs after Haruka." Kitsune informed the group, causing Naru and Motoko to face-vault, as Shinobu fainted again. Kaolla made victory-signs at Kitsune and Sarah shook her head in confusion.  
  
Kaolla, Haruka and Kitsune were crazy! There just wasn't any other possible way to explain their actions in this outrageous situation! Sarah leaned forward and put her head down on the table, shaking her head again as she tried to tell herself that this was all just some crazy dream.  
  


Roll credits 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter Four:

  
  
"Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail."  
- Unknown   
  
Urashima Haruka had been a nearly perfect neighbor ever since she bought the shop and moved into the living quarters on the second floor. She was quiet and polite, she never threw any loud parties, she served excellent tea in her shop, she always gave the neighbors a helping hand when they asked and she never passed on things she was told in confidence, unlike some others in the neighborhood.  
  
There was the occasional gunshot noise and the smell of tobacco which permeated her surroundings, but the neighbors were prepared to accept these two downsides in return for the previously mentioned perks.  
  
That was why people found themselves so surprised at the uncharacteristic disturbance she was causing now.  
  
"Aunt Ha-gck!" a young man blurted out, but was silenced mid-statement with a fist to his gut, signifying the intense disapproval the woman in question felt at being labeled 'aunt' by her husband. "Haru-wheeeze-ka." he wheezed out, being dragged forward by Haruka's left hand at the back of his neck. "Haruuuuuukaaaaa! I'm your nephew! We can't do this!" he protested as he was dragged past Amida Seiji's Tofu Shop, to whom Haruka nodded an absent greeting as they passed him by. "No. No! Nononono! No! I refuse!" Keitaro exclaimed and wrapped his arms around a mailbox.  
  
Haruka rolled her eyes and looked up at the sky for a moment, then held up her right hand in Keitaro's field of vision. She grabbed a couple of plums from Wakaba Midori's fruit and vegetable stand with her left, placed the two plums in her right hand and held them up right in front of Keitaro's face.  
  
"See these?" was all she said, before she closed her hand and squeezed until the plums had been turned into a mushy mess that was drizzling out between her fingers, the hard cores crushed to shards. "Imagine that happening to a rather sensitive part of your body." she said and Keitaro shuddered, moving his hands to protect his groin, during which he had to let go of the mailbox, which was exactly what Haruka was waiting for.  
  
"Haaaaaruka!" Keitaro wailed as he was once again relentlessly getting closer to Haruka's teashop. As she unlocked the door and attempted to drag him into the house, he latched onto the doorway and refused to let go. "Haruka! No! No! No!" he protested as she yanked at his legs, making him feel as if she was disappointed with his height and had decided to correct this by pulling at him until he became taller!  
  
The neighbors watched curiously as Haruka shifted her position until she was standing between Keitaro's legs, her arms wrapped around his legs and her hands clenching his jeans in grips of iron. Keitaro then felt her pull backwards and saw her right leg whip up at his left hand.  
  
"Wha!" he exclaimed and let go of the doorpost with his left hand in order to avoid the kick directed at it. Haruka made the most out of that and with a sudden twist as well as a powerful yank, his right hand no longer managed to hold on to the doorpost. Haruka twirled him around several laps, making him somewhat dizzy and then, before he knew it, he was tucked in underneath her right armpit, his arms pinned down by his side by her relentless right arm.  
  
She kicked the door shut before locking and bolting it, then carried her newly minted husband upstairs accompanied by his vocal protests.  
  
The neighbors shook their heads in dismay at the loud cries from the second floor. And she had been such a nice girl too, before all of this.  
  
Many of the neighbors wondered what to make out of the unusual, often loud cries and weird conversation that they heard all through the night.  
  
"How about this, then? Nurse Haruka, angel of mercy, at your service..." they heard Haruka say at one point, through a window that had been left open to let in some fresh air. "And I do mean service..." she purred.  
  
"Gah! Aun..."  
  
KA-ctch!  
  
"AOW! Haruka! Haruka!"  
  
"Better. Okay, so you're not one for nurses... Then how about... This!"  
  
"A sailor uniform? Where did you get one of those in your si-eah... Ah, I mean... Where did you get your hands on one of those?"  
  
"Were you attempting to imply that I'm fat? Was that what you were implying, dear?"  
  
"Ah! No! Not the whip! Not the whip again! You're not fat! You're slim! Petite! Got a narrow waist! Not an ounce of fat on you! You're pretty! Gorgeous! Sexy! Beautiful!"  
  
"Then why aren't you hard and roaring to go yet?!" Haruka snapped. "How about... This?!"  
  
"Haruka... Is that another weird uniform or some sort of leather harness for bungeee jumping?"  
  
"You have zero sense of adventure..." Haruka sighed and the neighbors could hear the sounds of someone rummaging through a closet. "How does this look? Enough to get your engine running on all six cylinders?"  
  
"A maid uniform? Where do you get all this stuff?" came the incredulous inquiry.  
  
"This?" Haruka inquired in a hopeful tone of voice.  
  
"Another school uniform and a ridiculous wig with brown pig-ta... Wait, that's Chiyo-chans hairdo and uniform! Come on, untie me! This is way too weird for me!" was the frantic plea.  
  
"No! I'm not anywhere near done yet. There must be something in my collection that'll get your libido by the short'n curlies." Haruka snapped. "How'zabout... This!"  
  
"A leash and collar? Where's the rest of it?" Keitaro inquired.  
  
"This is it. There is nothing else." Haruka purred.  
  
"Haruka! For the Kami's sake, we can't do this. Let me go!" Keitaro pleaded.  
  
"Boy, you are a stubborn one." Haruka sighed and the listening neighbors could hear the distinctive clicking sound of Haruka's lighter. "I don't know why the others keep insisting that you're such a pervert. This would be so much easier if you were one!" she groused and puffed on her fag for a while, before tossing the still smoking cigarette out of the window. "Haruka-chan, the cat-girl? Mreooow!" she suggested with a hopeful note in her voice and the neighbors could hear the faint tinkle of a small bell.  
  
"No! Rawan! I'll get you for thiiiiiiiiiis!" Keitaro howled into the night as the neighbors finally decided to wash their hands of this weird business and leave the young couple to their own devices.  
  


* * *

  
  
- The morning after...  
  
"Hiya, honey!" Kaolla greeted Keitaro as he staggered into the Hinata Sou the next morning, black bags under his eyes, a haggard expression and a wild look in his bleary eyes. He wasn't wearing the clothes he had left with, instead having put on a shirt and pants he had to have borrowed from Haruka, considering the look and bad fit.  
  
Focusing those beady eyes on Kaolla, he changed direction and wobbled over towards her as just mentioned eyes grew fiercer and fiercer, until Kaolla was actually debating weather or not a retreat was in order. His hands whipped forward and both of them were placed on Kaolla's shoulders, keeping her in place. His head slowly crept forward until only a hairswidth separated their noses from each other, their eyes locked on each others.  
  
"Kaolla. Are there any other laws or traditions that I need to know something about? I want you to think very carefully on this, before answering. Are there ANY other laws that I need to know something about?" he demanded. "I don't have to marry Tama-chan or something? There's no need for me to take off my clothes and run naked through the capital once every blue moon? No law that says that a Prince of Molmol have to kill a lion with his bare hands before his twenty-fifth birthday or anything like that?"  
  
"Well, you can marry the flying entree if you want, but in case of intra-species marriages, there's a form you have to fill out first. After that, you can either propose straight-away or wait until Tama's twelve months are up." Kaolla replied, getting calmer as it became obvious that he wasn't going to do anything, despite the uncharacteristic look in his eyes. "Nothing about nudity at blue moons, though it is said in our country that the chances for getting pregnant are larger during a red moon, so there might be some nudity involved during those. Though there isn't any law or some such regulating that." Kaolla continued, a faint blush appearing for a split second as she looked forward to the next crimson moon, when she'd grow into her adult body yet again. Imagining all sorts of nice'n naughty things for the two of them to amuse themselves with then. "Nothing about princes and lions either, though if you should for some reason want to assume a position as Commander in Chief of the Molmol armed forces, you are required to fight unarmed against a dangerous predator to prove your courage. But it doesn't necessarily have to be a lion and killing the predator in question is not a requirement." she finished.  
  
"Keitaro. What are you doing to poor Kaolla? Taking advantage of her again, are you?" Naru's voice inquired, lowering the temperature of the room with a fair amount, as she strode into it from the kitchen. Keitaro instantly removed his hands from Kaolla's shoulders and backed off several steps, before turning to face Naru.  
  
"Narusegawa... Ah... I was... Innocent... I wasn't... No... I... I really wasn't..." he stuttered, backing away as Naru stalked towards him.  
  
"And poor Haruka, you even took advantage of her!" Naru growled.  
  
"Poor Haruka?!" Keitaro exclaimed and the wild look in his eyes returned. "Poor Haruka!" he bellowed and stopped backing off, instead striding towards Naru who suddenly stopped and looked somewhat afraid as Keitaro's unexpected display. "She tied me up! She beat me with a whip! She modeled all sorts of outfits, uniforms and clothes all night long, forcing me to watch! She stripped me naked! With a knife!!!!! She very nearly violated me! POOR HARUKA?!" Keitaro screamed. "POOR HARUKA?!" he repeated, towering over Naru who had slumped to the floor from where she looked up at Keitaro with a terrified look in her eyes.  
  
"Oh, Kami-sama. The uniforms!" Keitaro shuddered, calming down somewhat as he too took on a fearful look, sweating profusely as he recalled his horrendous night. "Nurses, teachers, doctors, catgirls, movie characters, nuns, maids, androids, whores, policewomen, librarians, schoolgirls, slutty housewives, historical characters, mythological and legendary creatures... And the accessories, oh dear Kami, the accessories!" Keitaro rambled on, trembling in horror. "Clamps, ropes, collars, leashes, harnesses, straps, ears, tails, paws, Velcro, spandex, lycra, rubber, fur, silk, satin, restraints, plastic, dildoes, oils, lubricants, condoms, ticklers, braces, gags, blindfolds, plugs and things I don't even know either the names nor applications for!" he blabbed on, crouching down and hugging his legs to his chest.  
  
"She told me... She tried to order me to... She pleaded... She actually begged... She looked ready to... I don't know what... But..." Keitaro stuttered, shaking his head in denial. "If I hadn't found the knife and managed to get the ropes off, I... I..." he said, trailing off with another shudder.  
  
"I'm sorry, Keitaro." Kaolla said, walking up and wrapping her arms around him from behind, resting her jaw on his right shoulder as she attempted to comfort him. "I didn't mean for Haruka to get involved, but when the investigators looked up on things in the past for Mutsumi's appeal, the information about Haruka came out as well and... Well... I'm sorry, Keitaro."  
  
"Yeah... Me too..." Naru said, then slowly moved up onto her knees and moved closer to Keitaro, wrapping her arms around him as well. Not even she could ignore just how pitiful and shaken he appeared at the moment. "And I'm sorry for what I said." she added.  
  
"M-me t-to-too, sempai." Shinobu suddenly announced and kneeled down, in order to join the group hug, wrapping her arms around Naru and Kaolla, resting her head against Keitaro's left shoulder.  
  
"Oh, this looks like fun. How nice!" Mutsumi exclaimed and joined them on the opposite side from Shinobu, leaning her head against Keitaro's shoulder and Kaolla's head.  
  
"Aw, what the heck." Kitsune snorted from the stairs where the three most recent arrivals had appeared from, after Keitaro's bellowing had attracted their attention. She too approached the group and leaned in from between Shinobu and Kaolla, kissing Keitaro's head and resting hers on top of Shinobu's as she wrapped her arms around the group.  
  
"Thanks..." Keitaro muttered from the middle of the pile of women. /You know, this 'aint so bad.../ he reflected for a moment.  
  
"Urashima! What sort of perverted activities are you engaging in now?!" Motoko suddenly shrieked from the stairs. /Of course, Motoko might have another opinion on the matter./ he mentally sighed. "You defiler! You enemy of women!" she cried out and sprinted towards the huddle, bokken raised as she tried to figure out just how to hit Keitaro without striking anyone else. "Urashima, you coward! Come out and face me like the worm you are! Urashima, stop hiding!" she called out and tried to pull Mutsumi away, only to fail as the Okinawan refused to budge from where she was.  
  
"Calm down, Motoko. It's not... It's not what you think." Naru said.  
  
"Yea, it's not! Join us, honey! This is fun!" Su called.  
  
"Then... What is going on?" Motoko inquired suspiciously, lowering her weapon somewhat as she peered at the odd huddle, trying to figure out just what in tarnation was going on.  
  
"Keitaro had a rough night." Kitsune revealed and Motoko suddenly blushed, as she recalled where and by whom Keitaro had been dragged off the evening before.  
  
"Urashima! How could you?!" Motoko gasped, raising the bokken again. This clinched it. She had always known that all men were perverts and now here was the living proof of it! Currently living, that was. Once she got her hands on him though...  
  
"I couldn't. I didn't." Keitaro replied. "I finally got out of my restraints, tied Haruka up with her own damned whip and then ran away as fast as I could, after grabbing a shirt and pants from her wardrobe to replace my ruined clothes."  
  
"Yeah. I guess I was a bit careless leaving the knife on the bed like that..." Haruka stated from the doorway, looking almost as tired as Keitaro did. The huddle, and Motoko, looked cautiously at the older woman as she walked into the room, heading for a couch where she slumped down with a tired sigh. "Oh, don't look at me like that. You're off the hook. For now..." Haruka said, rubbing her forehead.  
  
"Haruka! How could you?!" Keitaro cried out from within the safety of a protective wall of girls.  
  
"I haven't been properly laid for seven years, three months and fifteen days. Once the opportunity presented itself, I got a bit... Overenthustiastic." she replied around her smoking Cancerstick, a bit of flush to her cheeks as she confessed to her lengthy dry spell.  
  
"Haruka..." Keitaro began, all inclination to ever refer to her as 'Aunt Haruka' again having been conditioned away during the course of the night. She was very good with that bloody whip of hers! "I don't think I'll ever..." he started, but was cut off.  
  
"Bah, save it. I'm not in the mood to listen to any conversation that starts off like that." Haruka spat out and slumped even further into the couch. "Feh, it feels as if a week in bed would do me good." she commented and fisted her eyes, hoping to clear her vision somewhat. "And I mean that as in sleep for a week, not anything at all like you guys envisioned just now." she added once her hands were removed, eyeing a fiercely blushing Keitaro covering in the middle of the pile of red-cheeked females surrounding him and Motoko standing next to it, just as red-cheeked as the others. "Though that would probably do me good as well, if you've finally changed your mind." she finished.  
  
"No!" Keitaro insisted from his shelter.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	5. Five

Married With Princess PG-13  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson 

Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognized? Keitaro, welcome to married life.

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.  
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
-/telepathy/-  
-translation-  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Writer on acid starts chanting 

This is a historic occation you guys, so sit up straight and take notice.

This is the first one of my fics, EVER, that has been seen by eyes other then mine before actually winding up online. Not even the one girlfriend I've had who was actually interested in fanfiction was allowed to glimpse at shit before I deemed that it was fit for public consumption.

The few changes I made due to the comments I got were minor, but those minor changes, made this chapter better then it already was, at least in my eyes. So who knows, I might just keep on letting a select few have a glimpse at my creations before inflicting them upon an unsuspecting public. :) As I on occation find myself receiving requests/demands/offers/whatever for people wanting to preread the fics I vomit forth on a highly irregular basis, I'll point you in the direction of Shinjis Sharing Inc, as that is the only place where you'll ever be able to do that.

Oh, just in case you've got no idea of just where the heck that is, it's over at s8 dot invisionfree dot com slash Shinjis underscore Sharing underscore inc

To the guys'n gals already there who offered comments, mainly sarissa who pointed out a passage I didn't even realize looked seriously weird until I reread it and that the spellchecker would have just glossed over, thanks for the input. It was mucho appriciated.

- The Deviant Overlord trails off, pondering just what the heck prompted him to write a line such as 'He couldn't fault the serious Kaolla's reasoning.' in the first place...

Writer is dragged off by buff orderlies in white coats 

Previously, on 'Married With Princess' 

"Haruka! How could you!" Keitaro cried out from within the safety of a protective wall of girls.

"I haven't been properly laid for seven years, three months and fifteen days. Once the opportunity presented itself, I got a bit... Overenthustiastic." she replied around her smoking Cancerstick, a bit of flush to her cheeks as she confessed to her lengthy dry spell.

"Haruka..." Keitaro began, all inclination to ever refer to her as 'Aunt Haruka' again having been conditioned away during the course of the night. She was very good with that bloody whip of hers! "I don't think I'll ever..." he started, but was cut off.

"Bah, save it. I'm not in the mood to listen to any conversation that starts off like that." Haruka spat out and slumped even further into the couch. "Feh, it feels as if a week in bed would do me good." she commented and fisted her eyes, hoping to clear her vision somewhat. "And I mean that as in sleep for a week, not anything at all like you guys envisioned just now." she added once her hands were removed, eyeing a fiercely blushing Keitaro covering in the middle of the pile of red-cheeked females surrounding him and Motoko standing next to it, just as red-cheeked as the others. "Though that would probably do me good as well, if you've finally changed your mind." she finished.

"No!" Keitaro insisted from his shelter.

Roll credits 

* * *

Chapter Five:

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery."  
- Rita Rudner

"Kaolla... Why are you reading a book on Molmoleese law?" Keitaro asked suspiciously, having stopped dead in his tracks on the way to the kitchen once he saw just what she was reading. "Is it because of ANYTHING I need to know!" he demanded in a voice that was hovering somewhere between squealing panic and firm determination.

"I was just refreshing my memory a little bit, Keitaro." Kaolla calmly replied, obviously in one of her rare serious moods, lowering the book to her stomach. Of course, since she was currently standing on her head on the arm-rest of the couch, she actually raised the book to her stomach. But for her, it was lowering. Keitaro was just relieved that she was wearing shorts and not a skirt, like last time she decided to read like this. Supposedly, it helped the knowledge to get to her brain and not get lost on the way.

He had felt inclined to laugh at that the first time he heard it, until he recalled that Kaolla was smarter then he was. He'd even tried it himself once, but got nothing much out of it other then a headache and a sore neck.

"I don't know about 'need to know', but there are a few things that you should know about." Kaolla replied. "As well as one or two things you might actually need to know." she amended with a faint smile which looked seriously creepy when she was up-side down.

"Okay." Keitaro sighed and took a deep breath. "Who or what am I marrying this time?" he asked with a morose expression.

"Nobody as far as I know." Kaolla replied. "But since you married into the royal family, there are some things that are expected of you, as well as of both me and your other wives. I was merely brushing up on my legal studies to make sure of how things will work with the current situation in mind."

"What do you mean?" Keitaro asked.

"You have to understand that things aren't usually done like this, Keitaro. I asked Rawan to keep his mouth shut, because otherwise my mothers and father would have had me moved out of here, or have you tossed out of here, the moment they found out that we'd been living together for almost a year. He didn't want to at first, but I managed to convince him that it would be in his best interest to keep his howling yapper shut." Kaolla explained with a feral smirk on her lips and Keitaro instantly resolved to never get on her bad side. He really didn't want to know what sort of hold she had on Rawan that had made him comply with her 'request'.

"Anyways, in Molmol, things like these never happen unknowingly. If a man and a woman live together for a year, it's because they want to get married. Certain places, like hotels, hospitals, school dorms and military barracks, are exempt from this rule to prevent accidental marriages. Anyway, there hasn't been an accidental marriage in Molmol for almost three-hundred years. When they year is nearly up, preparations for the wedding are started and on the final day of the allotted year, the couple are married." she explained and Keitaro listened intently.

Very intently.

That whole deal about certain places being exempt sounded awfully interesting!

"What was that about hotels and exemptions?" Keitaro interjected smugly, but Kaolla sudden smile crushed all his hopes.

"A form has to be filled in order to make a property exempt. One has never been filled for the Hinata Sou." Kaolla replied with a faint chuckle, before she continued.

"We didn't have a ceremony, since I never let you know what was about to happen. None of your other wives has had a marriage ceremony either. That's good, because that means that we don't have to go through the whole mess with the Week of Ceremonies just yet. But it's also bad, because some of the more superstitious subjects will take this to mean that the marriage hasn't been blessed by Xanthosus yet." Kaolla explained.

"'Xanthosus'?" Keitaro repeated and then slapped his own forehead. "Oh, yeah. The three-eyed god. I remember that from the book Rawan gave to me." he added as realization struck. He'd read that book several times by now, ensuring to never again wind up in a mess like this due to ignorance.

"Yes. Xanthosus is the head of the gods, the god of good relations. During the marriage ceremony, the priest bestows the blessing of Xanthosus upon the happy couple, ensuring a happy marriage approved by the gods. Some of the people of Molmol will take the lack of a marriage ceremony to mean that the gods disapprove of this marriage until the blessing has been given. Some of these religious fringe groups can be quite dangerous and if they find out about it, they may attempt to put a curse on us." Kaolla revealed with a faint shudder.

"A 'curse'? Ohhh, I'm scared." Keitaro mock-laughed.

"You should." Kaolla agreed seriously. "Minor groups like The Devoted Servants of Xanthosus don't have any will-workers capable of cursing anyone. But they probably have one or two people who can put a bullet through a hundred-yen coin at two-hundred paces forty-nine times out of fifty. Larger ones, like The Cult of Xanthosus, probably have a handful of will-workers who could actually call down a curse upon us."

"Kaolla... There is no such thing as a curse." Keitaro insisted. He was far more worried about the fact that some sniper might try to empty his skull of brains from two-hundred paces away! "Magic isn't real." he insisted.

"You do remember what happened under the crimson moon, do you not?" Kaolla countered. "That is the result of a Molmoleese will-worker putting a blessing on one of my ancestors more then a thousand years ago. There had been a war and the only member of the royal family that had made it, Princess Naolla, was an infant at the time. The country needed a ruler and none was suitable, so the High Priest of Xanthosus was called in. He blessed Princess Naolla and turned her into an adult. The magic has grown thin over the years since. At first, all Naolla's female descendants could change their age at will. These days, all that remains of the blessing is that we either age or grow younger under a crimson moon. No matter how old or young we are, we always get a seventeen year old body under a crimson moon. Though this too is changing as the blessing fades, my mother and my older sister only changes while in Molmol. When they're abroad, they don't change at all."

"It... It wasn't just a trick of the light then?" Keitaro asked in a strained tone of voice.

"No. Our bodies actually change. You should see what happens to mom, it's really funny and it gets pops all worked up whenever he sees it. Always when there's a crimson moon, pops drags my mommies out to the royal garden to make love under the red moon." Kaolla answered. "It's a well-documented physical change. Well, in Molmol anyway. We try to keep it a secret from the rest of the world."

"Wow..." Keitaro breathed, recalling just how Kaolla had changed while under the crimson moon. He absently wondered how long it was until the moon would turn red again.

"Anyways, magic is real and even those groups who don't have any talented will-workers can cause problems in other ways, so we really should have a marriage ceremony as fast as possible, all of us. But once we go through that, there are other things we have to take care of. Like the Week of Ceremonies, for which we have to go to Molmol and endure all sorts of boring rituals, ceremonies and meetings for a whole week. The High Priest of every god and goddess will want to bless us, the ranking officers of the army, navy, cavalry and air force will want to swear their allegiance to the new members of the royal family, the heads of the various Guilds will want to swear an oath of allegiance and good service as well and there's sharing of bread, salt and wine with all members of the royal bodyguards as well. Daily meetings with those boring old nutters in the Council of Elders. Documents have to be signed, interviews with the press given, my mother will probably try to persuade us to move to Molmol and my stepmother will probably try to have sex with all of you."

"Uh... Okay..." Keitaro mumbled, filtering out all the unpleasant bits from his mind. "Your father is divorced?" he asked, choosing to focus on the fact that Kaolla had mentioned mother and stepmother in the same sentence.

"Nope. Pops and the mommies are in a cluster marriage as well." Kaolla replied. "They've been in it for as long as I can remember. We're also lucky that we're in a cluster marriage, as that makes at least one thing simpler. In a simple two-person marriage in the ruling royal line, the prospective King is expected to become the Commander in Chief, meaning that the groom has to go through the Rite of Ascension, in which a dangerous predator has to be defeated. In a cluster marriage, this responsibility can be taken by any of the participants in the marriage. I've already gone through my Rite of Ascension, so none of you guys have to fight anything. Unless you want to or you get Naru or Motoko angry, of course. But that's not important right now, what we need to focus on, is setting a date for the marriage ceremony and free up a week after that for the Week of Ceremonies. Soon. The sooner, the better."

"What's the rush?" Keitaro asked. "As long as nobody else knows about this, we're safe, aren't we?" Keitaro asked, still holding out some faint hope that he might be able to get out of this whole marriage mess.

"Last night, I checked into www dot royalweb dot com to see if they'd gotten wind of this or not. They have. It's the world's foremost authority on all things royal, with both an extensive website and a monthly magazine with a world-wide distribution. The news will be all over the world before long. Rawan's trips to Japan must have been noticed, or someone at the Hall of Records passed the news along once the marriage was registered or something. But however it happened, the news is out now since three days ago. I've got a few mecha-tama's patrolling the grounds, just in case. But we really should do something about arranging a marriage ceremony." Kaolla replied and Keitaro sighed.

He couldn't fault Kaolla's reasoning. During her few serious moments, like this one, it really showed just how smart she actually was. Seeing how she acted most of the time, it was sometimes hard to recall that the hyperactive banana-eating jump-kicking weird-ass foreigner who asked all those silly questions, also spent her spare time building machines that was years ahead of cutting edge.

It was creepy as hell to see the usually so hyper girl so serious and capable, but whenever she showed the world her serious side, something of importance was afoot. Keitaro knew that she was a whole lot smarter then he was, so despite her age, he always listened to her when she was in her serious-mode.

He just wished that he didn't have to in this particular instance. If it had been just Naru that he'd wound up married to, he might have been able to accept the situation after a while. Heck, he might even have been able to learn to cope with being married to just Kitsune or just Motoko, but all of them? Despite what Kaolla, Haruka and Rawan claimed, he didn't feel like a married man at the moment. But a ceremony...

A ceremony would make it all seem so much more real. He wouldn't very well be able to claim that he wasn't married then, now would he?

Though he had to admit that a ceremony would get a rather large load off his shoulders. If his mother were to be invited to some big impressive royal marriage ceremony, she might just forgive him.

Which meant that both his ear-drums wouldn't be ruptured the next time he saw her in person.

"We can ask the others, I guess." Keitaro responded, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, I'm in. Sounds like fun." the voice of the resident slacker announced, causing Keitaro to jump in surprise as he hadn't been aware that there was anyone else in the room other then him and Kaolla.

"Kitsune!" Keitaro exclaimed, holding both hands in front of his chest, desperately trying to slow down the rapid beating of his heart. "Don't do that! You nearly scared me half to death. When did you get here?"

"Somewhere around 'Who or what am I marrying this time?', I believe." Kitsune replied with a sultry smile. "That piqued my interest, so I hung around to hear the rest of it." she explained as she sauntered up to Keitaro. "Distracted me from my hunt, it did."

"'Hunt'?" Kaolla inquired with a curious expression.

"Keitaro here has been really good at holding his distance for the last two days, after the incident with Haruka." Kitsune commented as she wrapped her arms around Keitaro, snuggling up against his back, two very prominent attributes rather pointedly reminding Keitaro of the fact that Kitsune was very much a woman. "Sneaking off into the secret tunnels at night, jumping and going off running at unexpected noises, refusing to visit my room... I haven't had my wedding night yet, so I figured that I was going to do something about that."

"Disregarding your marital duties again, Keitaro?" Kaolla asked with a faint smile.

"Oh, very much so!" Kitsune exclaimed and licked her lips hungrily.

"Uh, about the wedding ceremony..." Keitaro hastily interjected, desperately wanting to change the subject. "What's involved in that?"

Not that he was averse to the notion of sleeping with Kitsune like he was with Haruka, quite the opposite as a matter of fact. He'd always found the mischievous girl intriguing, sexy and attractive. She had a body that just wouldn't stop and a way of moving it that never failed to catch his gaze. Her provocative behaviour and suggestive mode of dress only enhanced this, causing him to desire her all the more.

But he knew that if he were to succumb to her sensual ways and do the naked pretzel with Kitsune, he wouldn't live to see the next sunrise. Naru would beat him to a pulp and Motoko would have his head. This was why he'd taken to avoiding the girls as much as he could for the last couple of days. It wasn't much of a plan, but perhaps it would keep him alive until he came up with something better.

"Oh, nothing much. Western-influenced ceremonies are all the rage in Molmol these days. Boring speech, calling down the blessing of the Gods upon the marriage, exchange of rings and whatnot." Kaolla responded. "Other then the fact that we have more then one God and that the boring speech is somewhat different, it's basically your standard western wedding. Unless you guys wanna try the ancient Xanthosian wedding rite?"

"What's that?" Kitsune inquired, momentarily distracted from getting Keitaro so hot'n bothered that he'd accompany her back to her room for a little naked full-contact aerobics.

"Less clothes and the High Priest of Xanthosus needs proof that the wives aren't virgins the morning after. You still get the boring speech, calling down the blessings of the Gods and exchange of rings. Or bracelets, if ones personal taste run that way." Kaolla replied unconcernedly, a statement which caused Keitaro to pale and Kitsune to blush as they heard about the 'needs proof'-bit, putting Kitsunes mind back on track when it came to persuading Keitaro that having wild monkey sex with her was an excellent way to spend the night.

Keitaro paled even further as Kitsune started fondling his private bits, her smile widening as she estimated the size, length and girth of what was hidden beneath his clothes.

"Shinobu had no idea what she was talking about..." Kitsune murmured in a sultry tone of voice, which caused Keitaro to loose consciousness and a trickle of blood to sneak out of his left nostril. Kitsune was actually impressed, the night with Haruka had seriously raised his resistance to these kind of things. A week ago, he'd have started gushing blood the moment she put her chest against his back.

"I'd better make sure that he finds his way to bed. Then I think I'd better turn in myself, as I'm, feeling a bit tired. Have a good night, Kaolla." Kitsune reasoned out loud and yawned in a theatrical manner as she struggled to get Keitaro into a semi-upright position, snuggling in under his left arm so that she could drag him off towards her room and the futon that awaited them in it.

"You do that. Have fun, Ki-chan." Kaolla said with a knowing smile, before she got back to her book.

Naru and Motoko were morons, for accusing him of being a pervert. Though things would be so much easier if he was. She was pretty certain that it'd be years before she could manage to get Keitaro in the sack. At least in her current body. The crimson moon however, might be just the thing to tip the scales over in her favour, as long as she kept Keitaro off balance enough so that he didn't have time to recall the fact that it was only her body that grew older.

She spared Kitsune a resentful thought, before she pushed that issue out of her mind. It appeared as if Kitsune would be the first of them to get Keitaro in the sack, just like she had guessed.

Well, second to get him in the sack actually, seeing as he'd spent a few hours tied up on Harukas bed. But Kitsune seemed likely to be the first to actually succeed in having sex with him!

Kaolla certainly hadn't expected Haruka to be the first to make a move, she'd been relatively certain that Kitsune would be the first to do that. Shinobu was too shy to make the first move and Keitaro never would, at least not until she was older, Kaolla figured. Motoko most certainly wouldn't make any sort of move, other then Martial Arts move to keep Keitaro at a distance. Naru still had quite a ways to go before she'd even admit to liking Keitaro, so sex was right out.

With those two not showing any interest, Keitaro wouldn't approach them either, married or not. He was just too kind a person to push unwanted advances upon anyone like that.

He wouldn't even touch Haruka with a ten-foot-pole and Kaolla herself was too young, so that left Kitsune.

Had Mutsumi already been counted amongst the wives, Kitsune might have had a competitor. But as it was, there really was no other probable sex candidate amongst the wives other then Kitsune.

Kaolla told herself that it was all right and that it was fine with her, while mentally tallying the days left until the next crimson moon...

The End! ( For now... )


	6. Six

Married With Princess R  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Prince Su Keitaro? What's this? Hinata Sou is an embassy because of the Princess living there? Making it foreign soil? Soil in which a certain law states that living under the same roof with a woman for a year means that you're married? Soil in which divorces aren't recognized? Keitaro, welcome to married life.

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.  
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Married With Princess'

She spared Kitsune a resentful thought, before she pushed that issue out of her mind. It appeared as if Kitsune would be the first of them to get Keitaro in the sack, just like she had guessed.

Well, second to get him in the sack actually, seeing as he'd spent a few hours tied up on Harukas bed. But Kitsune seemed likely to be the first to actually succeed in having sex with him!

Kaolla certainly hadn't expected Haruka to be the first to make a move, she'd been relatively certain that Kitsune would be the first to do that. Shinobu was too shy to make the first move and Keitaro never would, at least not until she was older, Kaolla figured. Motoko most certainly wouldn't make any sort of move, other then Martial Arts moves to keep Keitaro at a distance. Naru still had quite a ways to go before she'd even admit to liking Keitaro, so sex was right out.

With those two not showing any interest, Keitaro wouldn't approach them either, married or not. He was just too kind a person to push unwanted advances upon anyone like that.

He wouldn't even touch Haruka with a ten-foot-pole and Kaolla herself was too young, so that left Kitsune.

Had Mutsumi already been counted amongst the wives, Kitsune might have had a competitor. But as it was, there really was no other probable sex candidate amongst the wives other then Kitsune.

Kaolla told herself that it was all right and that it was fine with her, while mentally tallying the days left until the next crimson moon...

Roll credits

Incoherent mutterings from The Deviant Viking

Boh-yah, folks! Now we're moving into R-rated territory! Not nearly all future encounters will get an entire chapter to themselves like this one did. In fact, most of them will be glossed over with nary a mention. But I figured that the first romp in the bed deserved a bit of special treatment. :)

Anyways, not much else to say and I feel like getting back to revising the revised version of First Flight, so, toodles!

Crazy Swede, signing off

* * *

Chapter Six:

"Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts."  
- Jeff Foxworthy

"Kitsune? What are you doing?"

"Eeeep!" Kitsune yelped as Naru's voice startled her out of her plotting as she half-carried, half-dragged Keitaro towards her room. "Naru! Don't scare me like that!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry. But, eh... What are you doing with him? Why is he unconscious?" Naru asked.

"I went a bit overboard and he fainted, so I'm taking him back to his room." Kitsune replied with a wide grin.

"You passed by the door to his room." Naru commented.

"Oh, look. I did. Hehe." Kitsune chuckled sheepishly, standing between the door to her room and the door to Keitaro's room. "Imagine that..."

"So, want some help getting him there?" Naru asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Kitsune to sigh and shake her head as she decided to take the honest route with her oldest friend instead of silly deceptions that apparently didn't work.

At all.

"Do you want to sleep with him, Naru?" Kitsune asked with a serious expression, looking Naru straight into the eyes.

"What! No way!" Naru protested, back-pedalling and making warding gestures in Kitsune's direction.

"Well, I do. I am taking him to my room. If he remains unconscious, I'll just sleep with him by my side. If he wakes up, I intend to 'sleep' with him." Kitsune explained. "My decision, so don't go blaming him for anything if he does wakes up and gets devirginized by lil' ol' me."

"B-but Kitsune! You can't!" Naru protested with a furious blush.

"I want to, I can and I will." Kitsune argued. "That's the way it goes. If you want a romp with him first, then fine. I'll step aside for you, like I always have before. It's no biggie. But if you don't want him tonight, then I do and I see no reason whatsoever not to sleep with my... Our husband."

"But..." Naru started before trailing off, not quite knowing what to say. "Kitsune... Please, we can still work all this out."

"If you want to keep on trying to get out of this marriage, fine. I'll support you to the best of my ability, like I always have and always will do. But unlike you, I want this. I'm happy to be married to Keitaro! Being married to the rest of you is a bit weird however, I must admit. But I can probably learn to live with it." Kitsune insisted and focused a determined stare at Naru. "So, I'll ask you again. Are you going to sleep with him tonight? Because if you aren't, then I will."

"I just don't want you to make a mistake, Kitsune." Naru replied after a few moments.

"I'm not. So, what's it going to be?" Kitsune asked again.

"Well, if you're sure..." Naru said, trailing off. She let off a tired sigh and stared in silence at the unconscious caretaker for nearly a full minute. "I'm not going to sleep with him." she finally declared. "And I don't want you to either." she added persistently.

"I'm sorry, Naru. But that is my decision to make, mine and Keitaro's. Unless you want to join us, your approval is hardly necessary." the fox-eyed tenant declared.

"Kitsune!" Naru protested.

"I am sorry, Naru. Before we all wound up in this marriage, I never would have done something like this without your approval. But we're all in this together now, we all have to learn how to share, sooner or later. Might as well be now." Kitsune declared. "Now then. I am going to bring Keitaro with me into my room, so unless you're interested in joining us, please leave us alone." she requested.

Naru stared in silence at Kitsune for nearly a full minute, before speaking up again.

"I still don't approve, but I can see that your mind is already set on this. Just remember that I was against this later on." Naru finally said, before she turned around and left, without waiting for Kitsune to reply.

"I'm sorry it had to be like this, Naru." Kitsune said to the empty corridor, before she sighed and started moving forward again.

"I suppose my objections doesn't matter either?" Motoko asked in an oddly calm and reasonable tone of voice. Though Kitsune let out another yelp, not having noticed that the other girl was present before she spoke up.

"Not really." Kitsune replied with a sigh after she had calmed down somewhat. "I would have stepped aside and let Naru go first, because she's my oldest and best friend. While I like you well enough, I won't for you. So your opinion really only matters if you're interested in joining us two tonight."

"I most definitively am not." Motoko replied tersely, but a whole lot calmer then she would have done before if confronted with the same question. It appeared that the shock of the marriage hadn't quite passed just yet. She looked over Kitsune and one final time before shaking her head. "Very well, I will allow you to proceed, although I do not approve." she declared and looked curiously at the form of the unconscious Keitaro. "Just remember what you said, if he remains unconscious, do not molest him in his sleep or I will be... Most displeased." Motoko finished in a grave tone of voice.

"Puh-lease, give me a bit of credit here, Motoko-chan." Kitsune snorted. "Anything we do will be by mutual consent." she added. /Eventually, at least.../ she mentally added, knowing that it may take quite a bit of effort and a bit of trickery to get Keitaro onboard. With a final nod towards Motoko, Kitsune kept on dragging Keitaro towards her room, closing and locking the door behind them.

She gently deposited Keitaro on her futon and then stripped him down to his Ayanami Rei boxer shorts, folding and putting his clothes away, before she stripped down to bra and panties, slipping into an oversized light blue t-shirt that she usually slept in.

She kneeled down next to the futon and silently observed Keitaro for a few moments, then hastily jabbed her right index finger into his left side.

"Ow!" Keitaro exclaimed and his eyes snapped open. "Oh, crap..." he muttered, realizing that the gig was up. He sighed and shook his head. "How did you know that I was awake?" he asked.

"I felt your heartbeat spike and your breathing change as I spoke with Motoko-chan." Kitsune replied with a wry smile. "So I figured that you were playing possum on me to get out of this." she continued and rubbed her chin.

"We can't do th..." Keitaro started to protest.

"Keitaro." Kitsune sternly interrupted. "The two of us are not related, like you and Haruka. We are married to each other. I want this. Despite your protests, I think you do as well. We're both adults and I am a consenting one." she continued and actually opened her eyes completely as she observed him. "Now that we're both clear on that, I'm willing to hear you out. So, come on. What're your objections in regards to fulfilling your husbandly duties towards me?"

"It's not that I don't find you attractive or anything like that, Kitsune." Keitaro eventually sighed. "I think it's been rather obvious ever since we first met that I do." he added with a rueful chuckle. "Finally losing my virginity would also be something I'd normally welcome with open arms." he admitted with a wry grin.

"So, what's the problem?" Kitsune asked. "You find me attractive, I find you attractive, you want to lose your virginity, I want to lose my virginity and we're both married to each other."

"You make a lot of sense, Kitsune. It's just... I just don't want us to make a mistake." Keitaro sighed.

"I won't regret it in the morning." Kitsune stated.

"But I may." Keitaro responded. "It's such a big step and I just don't want to take that leap because Keitaro JR feels enthusiastic about the notion."

"It boggles my mind how Naru and Motoko just can't bring themselves to see this side of you. Perverted? Feh, yeah right!" Kitsune snorted and leaned back, resting her upper body weight on her arms, which caused interesting things to happen to the shape of her breasts.

Completely accidentally, of course.

No hidden agenda here.

Not at all...

"How about we fool around some then?" Kitsune asked. "Would that be okay?" she inquired. /Then when you're all hot and bothered, we'll see what happens./ she thought with a mental grin as she took extra deep breaths of air, causing her breasts to rise and fall in an even more noticeable way.

"I'm not entirely comfortable with that, Kitsune." Keitaro admitted.

"Oh, come on! You've kissed Kaolla and allowed her to sleep in your futon. Surely you can at the very least do that with me too?" she argued.

"Well..." he started but trailed off, closing his eyes as he pondered her question. /She's older then Kaolla. She knows what she's doing. We are married./ he reasoned. "All right, one kiss." he finally agreed.

"Ugh, you sure know how to make a woman feel wanted, Keitaro." Kitsune drawled sarcastically, before she shrugged it off and bent forward, crawling on top of him. "Here I come, dearest husband of mine..." she said in a sultry voice as she slowly brought their lips together.

She moved her hands up to his head and pulled them through his hair, enjoying the sensation of his surprisingly silky-smooth hair. She'd have to remember to ask what he used to get it that way.

Later.

Much later!

After a bit of hesitation, Keitaro gently placed his hands on her lower back as he slowly started to respond to the kiss, becoming more involved in it.

She kept the kiss up, languidly exploring his mouth and allowing him to do the same in return. She had needed this and she hadn't really understood just to what extent she needed it until right this moment. It had been far too long since last she'd enjoyed something like this.

Not since Keitaro first came to Hinata Sou, actually.

She'd been on a few dates in the beginning, but none of them had led to anything as she'd just found the men lacking in some way or other. It wasn't until this very moment that she realized that she had been comparing them to Keitaro and found them lacking.

She slowly shifted her body around, until she was lying completely on top of him, shifting her legs down to either side of his, pinning him down underneath her. She let out a faint moan into his mouth and moved her left hand down to caress his naked chest, gently tweaking his right nipple as her hand passed over it.

She felt him hesitate for a brief moment, so she slowly pressed her groin down against his, which caused him to respond with a surprised jerk and a moan of his own. /Gotcha/ she mentally cheered as the kiss slowly became more intense. She pressed down and dragged her groin alongside his, enticing another moan out of him as his hands started to move and go underneath her t-shirt, caressing her back directly. /Now you're mine.../ she thought and slid her hand down to caress the lower part of his stomach, occasionally dipping down although never quite reaching down to what Keitaro probably wanted her to touch the most.

She pressed her groin down again and his right hand finally left her back, moving further down until it roamed over her shapely behind.

/And I'm yours.../ she sighed inside her own head, feeling how she slowly lost herself to the marvellous sensations of the current situation.

"See, this isn't so bad..." she drawled as she pulled away from his lips for a brief moment, before she dipped her head down and recaptured his lips again.

They kept on kissing and touching each other for nearly a full two minutes, before Keitaro crumbled and moved his right hand down to hers, grasping her wrist and pulling her hand further down, until it made contact with Keitaro Junior. /Jackpot/ Kitsune mentally exclaimed as she wrapped her fingers around him through his boxers, slowly jacking him off.

"Touch me, Keitaro. All over..." she breathed as she broke the kiss again. "Please, touch me..." she added with a hint of a whimper in her voice and this was all that poor Keitaro could take. His hands suddenly seemed to grow a will of their own and all he could do was enjoy the sensations as they passed over all sorts of interesting bodily features, caressing, groping, tickling and occasionally pinching wherever they went.

She suddenly pulled away from him, leaning back until she was sitting on top of his legs, which caused a disappointed groan to emerge from his lips.

"Don't worry, loverboy. This isn't over yet, not by half." Kitsune assured him as she pulled the t-shirt over her head, carelessly tossing it aside. She brought her left hand up to the area between her breasts and deftly undid the clasp, before throwing her bra aside as well. She hesitated for a few moments, looking uncertainly down at Keitaro.

"You're beautiful." he gasped, his eyes as large as saucers as he stared up at the divine vision in front of him. "Absolutely amazingly gorgeous." he added before he reached out for her, putting his right hand on her back, pulling her down towards him while his left rose to her breasts, caressing them directly for the first time.

The kisses started up again and got progressively steamier, until Keitaro grabbed hold of her and rolled them around, putting himself on top accompanied by a moan of approval from Kitsune who certainly couldn't find fault in his actions. Her butt cheeks rose from the floor as she strained to keep their private bits in close contact, feeling him respond by pressing down against her.

"I want you inside of me." Kitsune breathed into his right ear, causing him to shudder and jerk against her.

"We... Can't..." Keitaro gasped. "We just... Can't..."

"I'm dying here, Keitaro." she whimpered. "Come on. I need it. I need you!"

"I..." he started, but was unable to finish the sentence. She reached down and pushed his boxers down, unveiling Keitaro Junior for the world to see. Which for the moment consisted of just the two of them, neither of which was able to see it at the moment. She wrapped her right hand around it and slowly jerked him off, rubbing her thumb over the engorged head. "Oooohhhhh..." he groaned, his eyes sliding shut as he found himself unable to do anything to resist what she was doing to him.

She moved her left hand down and pulled her panties aside, then pushed up against him.

"Feel that? Can you feel how wet I am, Keitaro?" she asked as she pushed the underside of his dick between her folds.

"Oh, Kami-sama..." Keitaro gasped.

"Feel that, Keitaro?" she asked as she slowly moved her lower body up and down, raking her pink bits alongside his trembling shaft. "I need this. Please... Please... I need you inside of me." she insisted.

"Oh, Kami-sama..." Keitaro repeated.

"Please..." she purred into his right ear.

"Argh!" he growled, then pushed away and off of her, much to Kitsune's great shock. At first she thought that he would take off running, but instead he shifted down a bit, pulled her legs apart and then his head suddenly dipped down between them. Her eyes shot wide open and a surprised gasp emerged from her upper lips as his suddenly made contact with her lower lips.

A gurgle was emitted from the back of her throat as he slowly dragged his tongue through her slit from bottom to top in an excruciatingly slow manner.

"Oh, Kami-sama!" she exclaimed as her hands shifted to grasp the sides of his head, then she lost all sense of herself as she was suddenly overwhelmed by unexpected, unusual and extremely welcome sensations. She couldn't have said how much time passed even if an even remotely accurate answer would have resulted in a ten-million yen prize, but suddenly she felt her entire existence collapse as she came like a bullet train.

She had experienced quite a lot of orgasms since she first discovered masturbation and she'd even had a couple together with whomever she was dating at the time. While she was still a virgin, she had fooled around quite a bit over the last couple of years. But this... This was beyond anything she had ever imagined it could ever be.

She trembled and shivered as Keitaro slowed his ministrations down, gently bringing her down from her orgasmic height.

"Inside me, now!" she snapped once she felt somewhat recovered, pulling his head up and away from between her thighs.

"Kitsune, I... ... ... ... Are you sure? Really sure?" he asked.

"Yes! For crying out loud, yes!" she insisted and he looked down into her eyes for a few moments, before he let out a slow nod. He pulled her panties down and threw them aside, then slowly got between her legs again.

Both of them gasped as her hot moist opening made contact with his trembling shaft again.

"Come ooooooon!" she pleaded with him, rubbing herself against him.

He looked into her eyes again and nodded once more, reaching down and slowly guiding himself into her wetness. He fumbled around for a while until she reached down and aimed him correctly, pulling him into her. His eyes rolled around in their sockets and she let out a faint hiss as he ever so slowly crept increasingly further inside of her.

/This is it! I'm finally doing it/ Keitaro thought.

/This is it! I'm finally doing it/ Kitsune thought right alongside with him, suppressing a desire to scrounge her face up in a vince as it was starting to hurt a little bit.

She couldn't suppress a relieved sigh as Keitaro eased up and even pulled back a bit, before he ever so slowly pushed back into her again.

"You okay?" Keitaro asked with a concerned tone of voice. "Should we stop?"

"No way..." Kitsune breathed, violently shaking her head in response. "Just... Just go slow, okay?" she requested.

"Yes..." he agreed and bent down to capture her lips with his, engaging in a passionate kiss before he started pushing again. Ever so slowly, he worked himself deeper inside of her until he came across a barrier blocking the route ahead. "Are you really sure?" he asked, breaking off their kiss. She declined to respond verbally and instead grabbed his ass as hard as she could, driving her nails into his flesh. "Ack!" he gasped and jerked forward, crashing through her hymen and bottoming out inside of her.

"ARGH!" Kitsune exclaimed, suddenly regretting her rash action.

"Are you okay?" Keitaro grunted, just barely clinging on to whatever faint remains of conscious thoughts there was.

"Y-yeah." Kitsune replied after a few moments. "That... Hurt... More then I thought it would." she admitted, averting her eyes from his piercing gaze. He nodded and started to gently pull out of her. It was by mere chance that she happened to look back at him and realized that he was about to stop. Completely.

She also realized that getting back into this position would be extremely hard, maybe even impossible if he did. He was far too caring for his own good!

She wrapped her legs around his waist and ignoring the brief jolt of pain this caused her, used her legs to bring him back into the depths of her body.

"D-don't stop..." she breathed before recapturing his lips, forcing him back every time he tried to pull away, until he stopped trying and kept up a moderate pace, going in and out of her. The pain lessened with every stroke and while she couldn't exactly claim that it was the best experience of her life so far, it no longer caused her intense pain. "I'm on the pill..." she informed him as he pumped away, causing a brief break in his strokes as he blinked and seemed to realize that he'd forgotten something very important in all the excitement.

Finally he just nodded and got started again, rather quickly bringing himself to a grunted orgasm, spurting the seed of his loins into her welcoming body. He trembled against her and tried to pull out, but she kept him down and instead rolled them both around, until she was on top, resting against his body.

"Not yet, okay? I'd like to savour this moment for a while..." she murmured against his neck.

"Okay..." he agreed and then fell silent, the two of them just breathing for a while. "Thank you." he finally said to her.

"Thank you." she shot back at him, reaching up to caress his cheek and jaw with her right hand.

"But you didn't..." he started to protest, before he cut himself off with a yawn.

"Not this time. Nor did I expect to." she agreed with a tired smile. "We'll get better at it with practise. We've got all of our lives ahead of us to improve."

"Yeah... Nite." he mumbled and closed his eyes.

"Nite..." she responded and looked at him in silence as he slowly succumbed to a deep slumber, softening inside her body. She remained in place for another couple of minutes, before she got up onto unsteady feet and wobbled over to her wardrobe, from which she selected a soft silky robe which she slipped into. A quick visit to the bathroom to clean up and grab some extra paper later, she returned to the room and quickly wiped up the worst of the mess they had made, before she slowly manoeuvred Keitaro underneath the cover.

She removed the robe and slipped into her t-shirt, then joined him underneath the cover, snuggling up against him and resting her head on his left shoulder.

"Sleep well, Keitaro, dear husband of mine..." she told her sleeping better half, or at least one of her better halves, before closing her eyes and joining him in blissful slumber.

The End! ( For now... )


End file.
